Operation Vortex REDUX unfinished

Made in Chocolate 3dmm, recorded in V3DMM with Camtasia. Screenshot was made with a pallet created by HMC and supplied by Dave Miles. Version with different pallet coming soon.
EDIT: Screenshots are broken. Darn.
DOUBLE EDIT:




You can download the pallet here: http://liambrocklehurst.com/uploader...et.jpg3dmm.bmp
Brighter Pallet here: http://liambrocklehurst.com/uploader...et.jpg3dmm.bmp
Explanation for the document and the music: The Doc was the original script from a day ago that I didn't follow. More of the alpha script. As for the music, it comes from a very obscure game called Normality, which in my opinion was awesome. I'm probably going to put it in. Do you guys think I should? Heres what the music sounds like if you're lazy:

[Dustin Guest]

One of these days I want to just see what one of my movies looks like with this change.

[Ben Rice]

the palleted video doesn't work. regardless though this was still pretty good work, the two main issues I had with your last movie was the lack of creativity in scenery/angles and the quality of your microphone and this two minutes of work shows a vast improvement on your end. nice one.

[Broken Pencil]

I know, it's been constantly removing itself from youtube a whole bunh of times.

[Old Rivers]

not bad. i liked the fast-paced directorial style to it. microphone quality isn't great.

[Cubert]

this is a real step up from your other stuff, keep at it man!

[Broken Pencil]

UPDATE: I'm currently working on the movie, but I need a few voice actors. I'm not going to make a whole thread about it, so I'm just going to update it. Anyways, these are the roles I need:

James Fredrick
"Age: 25
Gender: Male
Descent: African American
Occupation: Chemical Engineer working for Jenesis Enterprises
Voice type: Jack from Vlarion 1: The Elemental War (remake)

William/Timothy Handford;
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Descent: American
Occupation: Unknown
Voice Type: Mad Scientist

Zack "The Reaper" Jettison
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Descent: Spanish
Occupation: Hunter
Voice Type: Billy from "The Chair"

UPDATE 2: I might be migrating Operation Vortex REDUX to V3DMM For a few reasons.
1. It's easier to work with, in terms of mods, and the fact that it's much easier to change between windowed and fullscreen, since for me, it takes a few re-openings of 3dmm to get into windowed.
2. Scenery building is much easier, since buildings don't have to be entirely be made by hand. Take for instance Skullptor's movies, where he mixes Mods with Hand made scenery. That's what I want to head for.
3. It's a more modern format that people use nowadays, so it's a better choice.

There is a big disadvantage to it, though.

Since it'll be a .vmm, taking sounds out of it will be difficult. One main reason I had it as a .3mm, was so people could easily use it for there movies, for example, blood, door, scream, and ambient sound effects.

[Funny Bones]

https://f001.backblaze.com/file/3dmmtv/EJOV.mp4