shaq likes tennis.

[Dick Harris]

War Is AWESOME: you should go to a lakers game with a sign that says, 'I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO SHAQ'
emo faggort DICK: haha
War Is AWESOME: youd totally get on TV AND BECOME FAMOUS
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ : 1
MY VIRGINITY: 0
War Is AWESOME: hahaha
emo faggort DICK: shaq took my family.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ STOLE MY BABIES. oh god the possibilities are endless
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS MY DADDY AND MY LOVER.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DICKS BABIES.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ MADE OUT WITH MY SISTER. AND ATE MY BABY.
emo faggort DICK: cigarettes killed my father. AND RAPED MY MOTHER.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ PERFORMED FILATIO ON MY GRANDPA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS HITLER'S GRANDSON
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HATES ******S.
War Is AWESOME: hahahahaha
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ IS A JEW LOVER.
emo faggort DICK: hahaa
War Is AWESOME: or just things that dont even sound negative
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS JESUS REBORN
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ'S FAVORITE ICE CREAM IS MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP
emo faggort DICK: HAAHAHHAA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DRIVES A CAR LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
War Is AWESOME: hahahahahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ SHOPS AT WALMART FOR UNDERWEAR AND KETCHUP
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ OWNS A NICE HOUSE. I WENT THERE, I WAS LIKE, "PRETTY NICE HOUSE YA GOT HERE, SHAQ."
emo faggort DICK: hahahahahha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HELPS ME WITH MATH
War Is AWESOME: hahahaha
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ CAN DRAW REALLY WELL.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ DOES A GREAT IMPRESSION OF R2D2
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS ALLERGIC TO MUSTARD
War Is AWESOME: hahahahahaha
emo faggort DICK: ahahaha this has to go on the BB after we're done
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ PLAYS BASKETBALL.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T LIKE HIP HOP BUT IS A HUGE FAN OF BLUES
emo faggort DICK: hahahahaha
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ'S FATHER'S NAME WAS NOT KEVIN OR BILL. IT WASN'T EVEN JACOB.
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHAH
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS NOT RELATED TO ME BUT HE LOVES ME LIKE A SON
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ISN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR OJ SIMPSONS WIFE'S DEATH
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ MAINTAINS A DECENT DIET.
War Is AWESOME: hahaha
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHH
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SINKING OF THE TITANIC... BUT MARVIN GAYE IS.
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S HOBBIES ARE DRESSING UP AS WOMEN, AND HIDING IN TREES
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS THE PREDATOR
War Is AWESOME: SOMETIMES WHEN SHAQ GETS BORED, HE'LL INVITE A FRIEND OVER AND PLAY A GAME OF PICTIONARY.
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ONLY EATS TURKEY ON THANKSGIVING. THEN HE WATCHES THE PARADE ON TV.
War Is AWESOME: hahahahaha
War Is AWESOME: okay post it
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOES NOT PLAY VIDEOGAMES. HE WOULD RATHER CUDDLE UP IN FRONT OF THE FIRE WITH A NICE BOOK AND HIS PIPE.

[Bob The Ninja]

BobTheNinjaMan: HEY
BobTheNinjaMan: HEY HARRIS
emo faggort DICK: hello
BobTheNinjaMan: CAN I TRY THIS SHAQ THING?
BobTheNinjaMan: CAN I?
BobTheNinjaMan: PLEASE?
BobTheNinjaMan: AW C'MON. PLEASE?
emo faggort DICK: k
BobTheNinjaMan: AW SHIT
BobTheNinjaMan: *coughs*
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ WASNT REALLY THAT IMPRESSED BY MATRIX 3.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HAS NEVER PERFORMED ORAL SEX ON BARBARA BUSH. IT WAS A VICIOUS RUMOUR STARTED BY NONE OTHER THAN DENNIS RODMAN AND SYLVESTER STALLONE.
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ PREFERS PEPSI TO COKE.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ WAS A GRADE A GYMNASTICS STUDENT IN HIGH SCHOOL. HE ALSO LIKED MODERN DANCE
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ ONCE VISITED AUSTRAILIA. HE TOOK A PICTURE OF A KANGAROO.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ STARRED IN THE FILM 'GOOD BURGER' AS 'BURGER #4'
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ SOMETIMES FORCES HIMSELF TO THROW UP SO HE CAN BE THIN AND BEAUTIFUL.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HAS MILD ARTHIRITUS IN HIS LEFT KNEECAP.
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ DOESNT OWN A GUN.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ KEEPS A GARDEN GNOME IN HIS BEDSIDE DRAWER.
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ ONCE SAW CELINE DION IN CONCERT. IT WAS THE SINGLE GREATEST NIGHT OF HIS LIFE.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ LIKES BOYS
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ DOESNT BELIEVE IN ABORTIONS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS ABORTIONS
emo faggort DICK: SHABORTIONS
BobTheNinjaMan: HAHAHAHA

[Dick Harris]

emo faggort DICK: best topic ever
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ISN'T A COMMUNIST. BUT HE WAS GOOD FRIENDS WITH JOSEP STALIN
War Is AWESOME: FOR THE RECORD: SHAQ WAS NEVER IN FAVOR OF THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T EAT OFF PLATES LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. HE EATS FROM BETWEEN WILL SMITH'S BOTTOM CHEEKS.
emo faggort DICK: hahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HAS NEVER HAD A BABY. HE SUPPORTS ABORTION, AND SOMETIMES GETS WOMEN PREGNANT SO HE CAN PERFORM THE OPERATION HIMSELF.
War Is AWESOME: hahahahahahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HAS NEVER PERFORMED ORAL SEX ON BARBARA BUSH. IT WAS A VICIOUS RUMOUR STARTED BY NONE OTHER THAN DENNIS RODMAN AND SYLVESTER STALLONE.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ DID NOT ONCE TRY TO FART ON GARY COLEMAN'S HEAD. NOR WAS IT EVER A RUMOR.
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHA
emo faggort DICK: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, SHAQ WAS NOT THE THIRD MAN ON THE GRASSY KNOLL.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S FAVOURITE MOVIE IS 'GOOD BURGER', CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY 'DEBBIE DOES DALLAS'
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOES NOT HAVE AIDS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ INVENTED AIDS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS AIDS
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ DOES AIDS
emo faggort DICK: SHAIDS
War Is AWESOME: hahahaha
emo faggort DICK: hahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ONCE PUT COFFEE GRANULES UNDER RUNNING WATER, SQUASHED THEM INTO CUBES AND SOLD THEM TO HIS TEAMMATES AS ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES. BOY WERE THEY EVER MAD?
War Is AWESOME: hahaha im gonna put these in my livejournal
emo faggort DICK: awesome
emo faggort DICK: shall i add em to the topic?
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ KEEPS A LIVEJOURNAL. HE IS CLOSE FRIENDS WITH LAKERZ86 AND MANWOMANPROBABLY94.

[Fat Puppy]

VinDieselDesire: this Shaq thing has gotten out of hand
VinDieselDesire: and is totally ripping off Flounder's Kurt Loder thing
emo faggort DICK: AW WELL
VinDieselDesire: WELL.
VinDieselDesire: Um
emo faggort DICK: wait til flounder gets in on it
VinDieselDesire: do it. now. make me laugh.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S BACK.
VinDieselDesire: SHAQ HAS A TERRIBLE PROBLEM WITH BACK HAIR. HE SHOULD PROBABLY GET IT LOOKED AT
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ PROBLEM?
VinDieselDesire: YOU'VE GOT SHAQ QUESTIONS, WE'
VinDieselDesire: VE GOT SHAQ ANSWERS
emo faggort DICK: haha
VinDieselDesire: SHAQ ONCE TOOK A PHONE CALL FROM NON OTHER THAN TOM CRUISE. HE PROCEEDED TO CALL CRUISE A "BITCH ASS ******" AND THREATENED TO "KKK HIS BLACK ASS"
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ FU DOESN'T EXIST. IT WAS JUST A PLOT FOR A VIDEO. SHAQ IS ONL A BROWN BELT IN TAE KWON DO.
VinDieselDesire: SHAQ PLANNED A VISIT TO AFRICA TO GO TO THE LAND OF HIS ANCESTORS. HE DECIDED NOT TO, AND INSTEAD WATCHED "HARRY POTTER". HE THOUGHT IT WAS ALRIGHT
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS NOT ACTUALLY BLACK. HE WAS BORN WHITE. NOBODY KNOWS WHETHER OR NOT HE MOLESTS OLD AGE PERSONS.
VinDieselDesire: ONCE, AT A FAMILY REUNION, SHAQ ATE ALL THE FRIED CHICKEN. HE WAS EMBARRASSED, UNTIL HE NOTICED HE WASN'T AT A FAMILY REUNION. HE WAS ON THE SET OF "WILL AND GRACE"
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ LETS DOWN TYRES IN HIS STREET ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
VinDieselDesire: SHAQ HAS HEARD THE RUMORS OF HIS LARGE PENIS. HE DOESN'T APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH. HE KINDA THINK ITS A LITTLE TOO GAY FOR HIM
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ GETS OFFENDED WHENEVER PEOPLE BRING UP HOW BAD A MOVIE KAZZAM WAS.
VinDieselDesire: WHENEVER SHAQ GETS AN ERECTION, HE SCREAMS OUT "KAZZAM"
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ LIKES TO TRAVEL TO GREECE TO SEE THE LOVELY ANTELOPE.

[Dick Harris]

[Fat Puppy]

KAZAAM!

[Bob The Ninja]

HARDKORE LIKE SHAQ

[Dick Harris]

War Is AWESOME: SHAQ'S BREATH SMELLS LIKE BACON
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ PARTIES WITH HIS PALS WHILE LISTENING TO BACKSTREET BOYS
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS PARTIAL TO A BIT OF LIMP BIZKIT, AND MOSHES HIS CAT TO THE SOUND OF 'BREAK STUFF'
War Is AWESOME: hahahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S FATHER WAS UNIDENTIFIED BUT IS SUSPECTED OF BEING THE ELF GUY FROM LORD OF THE RINGS
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ PLAYS ATARI WITH BOB HOPE. THEY ARE STUCK ON LEVEL 34 OF THE SMURFS.
War Is AWESOME: hahhahaha
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ NEVER LIKED SEGA GENESIS. HE WAS MORE OF A SUPER NINTENDO KINDA GUY.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ONCE LOST HIS CONTACT LENSES AND MISTOOK CENTRAL PARK FOR HIS NEVADA MANSION.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T LIKE DVD. HE'S A LASER DISC MAN, AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ OWNS A COPY OF BEEGEES LIVE IN CONCERT ON VHS
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ FAVOURS HORSES TO MOPEDS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ RHYMES WITH BLACK, MACK, AND TACK
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ GOT IN A FIGHT WITH A GIRAFFE. HE WON.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ PREFERS THE CLEAN SLIM SHADY LP TO THE DIRTY VERSION.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ IS ONLY 3 YEARS OLD.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HASN'T YET SEEN KILL BILL VOLUME ONE. HE'S WAITING FOR THE VHS.
emo faggort DICK: hahahahaha
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ? MORE LIKE SNACK.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS A TRAINED FORKLIFT DRIVER.
War Is AWESOME: hahahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ONCE GOT MISTAKEN FOR JOHNNY FROM THAT SHORT CIRCUIT ROBOT MOVIE
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ DID NOT LIKE KARATE KID ONE AND TWO, BUT THREE? HOLY SHIT. HE WAXES HIS TESTICLES TO THAT MOVIE.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ AUDITIONED FOR THE PART OF JEW 720 IN SCHINDLER'S LIST. THE PART WENT TO A LITTLE KNOWN RABBI NAMED JAMES. SHAQ TURNED TO COUGH MEDICINE AND CHECKED INTO REHAB WITH ADDICITION LAST MONTH. HE MADE A QUICK RECOVERY.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ CAME OVER TO MY POOL PARTY. HE WAS LIKE, "CHECK OUT THIS FLIP" BUT LANDED ON HIS BACK. WE WERE KINDA CONCERNED FOR HIM, BUT WHEN HE CAME BACK TO THE SURFACE HE WAS LIKE, "I'M OKAY GUYS." BOY WERE WE RELIEVED.
emo faggort DICK: jahahhaa
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ALSO SPEAKS FLUENT JAPANESE.... YET HE HAS NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ LOVED THE SIMPSONS BUTTERFINGER COMMERCIALS, AND OWNS THEM ALL ON RECORDED BETAMAX.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ IS NOT IN FAVOR OF RACIAL SLURS. EXCEPT FOR, 'CHINK.'
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHAHAHA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S BEST FRIEND IS DEAD. HE DEMANDS VENGEANCE.
War Is AWESOME: HAHAHAHAHH
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T WANT TO WRITE A BIOGRAPHY. HE'LL PROBABLY GET A GHOST WRITER, WHILE HE WATCHES TV.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ONCE FILED A LAWSUIT AGAINST KELLOGGS WHEN HE FOUND A BABY IN HIS CORN FLAKES
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T LIKE INDIANA JONES. HE LIKES XENA.
emo faggort DICK: IF SHAQ GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH HIS DAD, HE'D WIN. HIS FATHER DIED OF HIV IN 1864.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ EATS 7 YEAR OLDS.

[Dick Harris]

War Is AWESOME: SHAQ USED TO IDOLIZE MICHAEL J FOX UNTIL HE GOT PARKINSONS. SHAQ SAYS MICHAEL IS JUST "ALRIGHT" NOW.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ TO THE FUTURE MAY BE REDEMPTION, BUT ONLY IF CHRISTOPHER LLOYD ACCEPTS.
War Is AWESOME: hahahahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S FAVOURITE TV SHOW IS JERRY SPRINGER.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS A STUPID NAME.
emo faggort DICK: HE'D RATHER BE NAMED REGINALD..... OR DAVE.
War Is AWESOME: THE ONLY REASON YOU DONT LIKE SHAQ IS BECAUSE HE'S A ******.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S DICK IS ONLY 2 INCHES WHEN FLACCID
emo faggort DICK: hahahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ SUPPORTS ANIMAL RIGHTS, YET SECRETLY EATS CHICKEN.
War Is AWESOME: hahahahahahahaa
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T BELIEVE IN GOD. HE SAYS IT'S A STUPID IDEA
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ DEMANDS A REFUND FOR THAT CHICKEN SANDWICH HE GOT AT BURGER KING THE OTHER DAY. GIVE THE MAN HIS MONEY, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS. IT HAD A HAIR ON IT.
emo faggort DICK: WHEN SHAQ DIES, A BOMB WILL DESTROY TOKYO
War Is AWESOME: hahahahahahaha
emo faggort DICK: hahahahahahahaqhaha
War Is AWESOME: hahahahahaha
War Is AWESOME: i'm adding these to my livejournal as I go
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ CLEANS HIS OWN SHOES. HE'S QUITE CAPABLE. YOU CLEAN HIS FUCKING SUIT THOUGH. THATS WHAT HE PAYS YOU FOR
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ THREW BRICKS AT HIS NEIGHBOURS WHEN BABYLON 5 ENDED.

[Bob The Ninja]

BobTheNinjaMan: THE OTHER DAY SHAQ AND I WERE ANTIQUING AND WE FOUND THIS REALLY CUTE LAMP FOR HIS LIVING ROOM.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S REAL NAME IS BOB HOSKINS
BobTheNinjaMan: SOMETIMES SHAQ TAKES SHOWERS WITH OTHER MEN.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ BATHES IN PISS.
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ PERFERS A HEART HEALTHY DIET.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S FAVOURITE POSITION IS MISSIONARY
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ HAS YET TO UPGRADE TO XP
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ OWNS A REMOTE CONTROL SUBARU. HE NEVER USES IT THOUGH.
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ LIKES MALOMAR BARS
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DIDN'T ATTEND HIS UNCLES BARBEQUE LAST YEAR. HIS UNCLE STILL HASN'T FORGIVEN HIM AND NOT ONE DAY GOES BY WHEN SHAQ DOESN'T SHED A TEAR OF REGRET. JUST ONE THOUGH, BECAUSE HE'S SHAQ.
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ'S CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS OUTRAGEOUS. THEN HE CALLED AMERI-DEBT.
emo faggort DICK: DUDE. SHAQ'S GETTING A DELL
BobTheNinjaMan: HAHAHAHAHAHA
BobTheNinjaMan: DUDE, YOURE GETTIN' A SHAQ

[Melrose Let Down]

MelroseLetDown: THE FIRST TIME SHAQ RODE A UNICYCLE HE MANAGED TO MAKE IT ELEVEN FEET, WHICH WAS BETTER THAN WE ALL THOUGHT HE WOULD DO
emo faggort DICK: hahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ THINKS DISCO SUCKS
MelroseLetDown: SHAQ HAS BEEN A LITTLE HESITANT TO VISIT HIS UNCLE, EVER SINCE THE BIG FIRE
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ BURNS POLICEMEN
MelroseLetDown: DESPITE POPULAR BELIEF, SHAQ NEVER ONCE TRIED TO CONVINCE CONAN OBRIEN TO GROW SIDEBURNS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T LIKE PORN, UNLESS IT HAS DOGS IN.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ THROWS KNIVES AT STRAY CATS
emo faggort DICK: POST IT
MelroseLetDown: IF SHAQ HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME HUGH DOWNS BEAT HIM IN A FIST FIGHT, HE WOULD HAVE 13 CENTS
MelroseLetDown: SHAQ USED TO LOVE STRING CHEESE, BUT HE CAN ONLY EAT ABOUT 5 OR 6 PIECES BEFORE HE GETS TIRED OF IT. HE'S A BIT LESS PARTIAL TO IT NOW
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ LIKES CAJUN CHICKEN ON HIS PIZZAS
MelroseLetDown: IF YOU SPELL "SHAQ" BACKWARDS IT "QAHS" WHICH IS NOT EVEN A REAL WORD

[Dick Harris]

emo faggort DICK: SHAQ PISSED IN HIS GRANDMAS FACE AT HER 60TH BIRTHDAY. TYKE.
War Is AWESOME: ALONG WITH THE MIRACLE OF LIFE KNOWN AS 'SHAQ', HIS MOTHER ALSO SQUEEZED OUT A POLISH SAUSAGE SANDWICH AND A TELEPHONE IMMEDIATELY AFTER.
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHAHAHAA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO USE A CALCULATOR
War Is AWESOME: hahahahaha
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ CANT DRIVE A MANUAL TRANSMISSION.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ GETS FREE CABLE TV BECAUSE HE'S JUST THAT GOOD.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ SELLS HIS POO ON EBAY
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ EARNS EXTRA MONEY ON THE SIDE BY SELLING LEMONADE FROM HIS FRONT LAWN FOR 4 CENTS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ CAN'T AFFORD CHILD SUPPORT. INSTEAD HE HAS CONTRACTS ON HIS KIDS.
War Is AWESOME: and on the back of the lemonade sign, it says 'LEMONADE IS A CODE WORD FOR CRACK.'
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HAS A MALIGNANT TUMOUR THE SIZE OF MY NUTS.
emo faggort DICK: hahahaha
War Is AWESOME: hahahah
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ HAS A MALIGNANT TUMOR THE SIZE OF MY NUTS. THE DOCTOR SAYS ITS REALLY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, THOUGH.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ OPERATES ON BADGERS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ LIKES PUDDING
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T DO HIGH FIVES. HE HATES TOUCHING PEOPLE.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ DOESNT PEE IN THE SHOWER. BUT HE DOES DO IT IN THE SINK.
emo faggort DICK: hahaha
War Is AWESOME: WHEN SHAQ GETS MAD, HIS TESTICLES DROP 3 FEET.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ STICKS FORKS IN ELECTRICAL OUTPUTS....BECAUSE HE'S SHAQ
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHAHAHA
War Is AWESOME: hahahaha
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ HAS GILLS.
emo faggort DICK: WHEN SHAQ TRIPPED OVER ONCE, THERE WAS A POTHOLE THE SIZE OF AFGHANISTAN FROM WHERE HIS NOSE LANDED
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHA GILLS
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ SAVES BABIES FROM FIRES, BUT THEN DROPS THEM ON CONCRETE.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ DOESNT OWN A TV. INSTEAD, HE OWNS A BLACK MAN THAT TELLS REALLY FUNNY JOKES.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS QAHS BACKWARDS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ONCE FEATURED IN A VIDEOGAME CALLED SHAQ FU. AND IF YOU EVER PLAY IT, HE'LL KILL YOU.
emo faggort DICK: THEY ARE SHAQ'S PUMAS. FUCK OFF.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T LIKE THE WORD 'HELIUM'.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ FINDS MIDGETS TO BE 'COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY'
emo faggort DICK: AHHAHAHAAHAHAH
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ WAS BACKSTAGE AT GOOD CHARLOTTE'S LAST CONCERT. HE KNOWS THEY'RE NOT PUNK, BUT HE DOESN'T CARE.
War Is AWESOME: HAHAHAHAHAHA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ SUPPORTS TERRORISM.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS THE ENTIRE STATE OF IDAHO
emo faggort DICK: ANTS LIVE ON SHAQ'S FACE.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ EATS TERRORISM FOR LUNCH WITH A SIDE ORDER OF HOLOCAUST.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HAD FRONT ROW SEATS WHEN CHRISTINA AGUILLERRA AND BRITNEY KISSED MADONNA. HE THOUGHT THAT SHIT WAS BORING, AND WANTED R.KELLY TO COME ON STAGE WITH THE OLSEN TWINS.
War Is AWESOME: hahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HATES IT WHEN YOU MISPELL HIS NAME AS SHACK.
War Is AWESOME: hhhahahaahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ RUNS A CONCENTRATION CAMP FOR GAY PEOPLE
War Is AWESOME: IN SHAQ'S NEW MOVIE, HIJINX AND TOM FOOLERY WILL ENSUE.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ OWNS 98% OF PLANET EARTH.
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHAHAHA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ WANTS MACAULAY CULKIN TO STAR IN A MOVIE WITH HIM ABOUT BEARS.

[Bob The Ninja]

BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ'S FAVORITE MOVIE IS 'THE HULK'.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S FAVOURITE COLOUR IS PURPLE
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ TURNS PURPLE WHEN HE GETS REALLY ANGRY. BECAUSE HE'S SHAQ, AND HE'S A FUCKING ******.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ BITES HIS NAILS
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ GETS POOR CELL PHONE RECEPTION IN HIS BATHROOM, SO HE CANT PISS WHILE TALKING ON THE PHONE. NOT THAT HE WOULD EVER WANT TO OR ANYTHING. ITS JUST THAT, SHOULD THE OPPERTUNITY EVER PRESENT IT SELF THAT SHAQ WOULD IN FACT WANT TO PISS WHILE TALKING ON HIS CELL PHONE, HE WOULD BE UNABLE TO DO SO.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQS TEETH ARE MADE OF CHILDREN
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR DALMATIONS
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ CAN BEND SPOONS WITH HIS EYELIDS
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ MASTURBATES TO FAT CHICK PORN.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HAS THE POWER TO GO BACK IN TIME. BUT IT'S DANGEROUS MAN, EVEN SHAQ KNOWS HIS LIMITS.
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ, THAT IS THE SHAQ FROM 1985, WENT BACK TO 1955 AND GOT SHOT IN THE FACE.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ SHAQ SHAQ SHAQ SHAQ SHAQ SHAQ SHAQ SHAQ
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ: BACK IN IRAQ

[Bobby Swisha]

SHAQ ONCE CREATED A BOY ENTIRELY OUT OF MODELING CLAY AND THE BOY CAME TO LIFE AND DANCED.

[Melrose Let Down]

MelroseLetDown: IF SHAQ LIKED VAN HALEN, HIS VAVORITE SONG WOULD BE "AINT TALKING BOUT LOVE."
MelroseLetDown: SHAQ DOES NOT LIKE VAN HALEN
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ BURNS CHINKS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T LIKE TOM HANKS SINCE HE BECAME A HUGE ACTOR. BIG USED TO BE HIS FAVOURITE.
MelroseLetDown: THE TRUTH IS, SHAQ REALLY WANTED TO BOTTLE ORANGE JUICE AT THE MINUTEMADE FACTORY. NO ONE SUPPORTED THIS IDEA, SO HE SETTLED FOR BASKETBALL.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S HEAD IS DETACHABLE AND CAN BE USED AS A STAPLER.
MelroseLetDown: hahaha
MelroseLetDown: SHAW ONCE GAVE A BLIND MAN AN EYE EXAM USING A PIECE OF STRING
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ CAN'T PLAY STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, BUT CAN PLAY FUNKYTOWN
MelroseLetDown: FEW KNOW THAT THE NAME "SHAQ" STEMS FROM THE GREEK WORD FOR "AVACADO TREE"
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HAS BADASS TATTOOED ONTO HIS RIGHT LUNG
MelroseLetDown: SHAQS SECOND GRADE TEACHER, MRS BURNWORTH, MADE HIM READ OUT LOUD IN FRONT OF THE CLASS, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS STRUGGLING WITH HIS READING AT THAT TIME.... SHAQ NEVER FORGAVE MRS BURNWORTH FOR THAT
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHAHAHA POST THAT SHIT

[Bobby Swisha]

SHAQ IS ACTUALLY A MIDGET WITH REALLY LONG LEGS.

[Jaymond]

Jaymond Lopez: but i would just like to tell you. that the shaq likes tennis thread was the single funniest piece of writing i'd ever read on the 3dmm board.
Jaymond Lopez: and i would like to "SHAQT" with you when you have time.
Jaymond Lopez: (SHAQT = SHAQ-CHAT)
emo faggort DICK: K
Jaymond Lopez: *waits*
emo faggort DICK: I HAVE 15 MINS UNTIL CUTOFF
emo faggort DICK: go
Jaymond Lopez: SHAQ SOMETIMES MISTAKES BEETROOTS FOR RED CAPSCIUMS
Jaymond Lopez: SHAQ OWNS 3 GOLF CLUBS BUT DOES NOT GOLF
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ SLEEPS IN A DRAWER
Jaymond Lopez: SHAQ RAPED A HORSE ONCE, HE THEN SLAYED IT
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T LIKE TOAST
Jaymond Lopez: SHAQ'S MUSCLES ARE MADE OUT OF PUTTY AND GLUE
Jaymond Lopez: SHAQ WEARS BLUSH
Jaymond Lopez: SHAQ SUPPORTS AL-QUADA'S ATTACKS ON AMERICA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DRINKS SEMEN, AND CLAIMS IT GIVES HIM THE POWER TO THROW MEN 50 FEET IN THE AIR
Jaymond Lopez: HAHAHA
Jaymond Lopez: SHAQ WANTS TO MEET QUEEN ELIZABETH AND PUNCH HER IN THE BREASTS
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S FACE IS MADE OF FENCEPOSTS
Jaymond Lopez: SOMETIMES SHAQ SEES HOW LONG HE CAN GO WITHOUT EATING THE CORN IN HIS FECES, HE DOES NOT LAST LONG
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS NOT A SINGLE MOM
Jaymond Lopez: SHAQ ONCE JIZZED ON A MULBERRY TREE AND HENCEFORTH CREATED "SHAQBERRY'S"
Jaymond Lopez: Hahaha lord.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS A TRANSFORMER. HE TURNS INTO A CLIFF.
Jaymond Lopez: SHAQ BOUGHT A MOULIN ROUGE PLACEMAT ONCE
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ONCE SWUM WITH A SHARK.
emo faggort DICK: OK ENOUGH
emo faggort DICK: POST IT
Jaymond Lopez: WHEN SHAQ GETS IN TROUBLE WITH THE POLICE, HE KICKS THEM IN THE BALLS, HE CALLS THIS HIS "SHAQ ATTACK"
Jaymond Lopez: okay
Jaymond Lopez: hahaha fuck. i love you.
emo faggort DICK: HAHA



Just to re-iterate: Thanks to Fester, Harris, Puppy, Melrose .. everyone. This has been the funniest thing I've ever read on this board. And I thank you.

[Bob The Ninja]

BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ ONCE TRIED TO WAKE UP HIS FRIEND BY SHOOTING A PAINTBALL GUN IN HIS EYE.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ISN'T GOD BUT HES FUCKING CLOSE
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ IS THE REAL INVENTOR OF NAPSTER.
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ CAN EAT THREE OR FOUR ALTOIDS AT A TIME AND IT DOESNT EVEN BOTHER HIM.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S DIGESTIVE SYSTEM CAN TAKE LIQUID NITROGEN
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ CAN POP HIS BACK, LIKE, 5 OR SIX TIMES.
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ'S MOTHER HAS A REALLY LOSE VAGINA.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ ISN'T DOUBLE JOINTED, BUT BREAKS HIS ARM AT PARTIES BECAUSE, HEY, HES SHAQ.
BobTheNinjaMan: SHAQ ONCE BUILT A ROCKET SHIP SO THAT HE COULD FLY IN OUTERSPACE, BUT HE SHOT IT WITH GUNS BECAUSE HE JUST DIDNT CARE.

[Melrose Let Down]

MelroseLetDown: SHAQ HAS ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THE TERM "LOL" WAS A LITTLE STUPID. HE ALWAYS PREFERED TO SAY "HAHAHA" TO DISPLAY HIS E-LAUGHING
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T BELIEVE IN EMOTION.
MelroseLetDown: SHAQ THOUGHT RAGTAG GROUP OF REBELS WAS PRETTY GOOD, BUT HE FOUND THE CAMERA MOTION A BIT SLOPPY AT TIMES.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S FARTS ARE WORTH $7000000000 IF YOU CAN CATCH ONE IN A JAR
MelroseLetDown: WHEN BURGER KING ANNOUNCED THEIR NEW MEAL CALLED THE "SHAQ PACK," SHAQ WAS A LITTLE UPSET, HE WAS HOPING TO USE THAT NAME TO MARKET A LINE OF CANCER SORE PRODUCTS.
MelroseLetDown: SHAQ HAS ALWAYS DISLIKED CANCER SORES
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HATES SUNBURN
MelroseLetDown: DUE TO THE FACT THAT SHAQ IS BLACK, HIS TEETH APPEAR WHITER THAN THEY REALLY ARE, DUE TO THE CONTRAST
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ CAN SURVIVE 40 FOOT DROPS ONTO HIS FACE
MelroseLetDown: BUT ONLY IF THE DROPS ARE 37 INCHES, AND HE LANDS ON HIS FEET
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHA WTF
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HATES THE WORD TROUSER.
MelroseLetDown: AND HE WOULD NEVER USE IT WHEN DESCRIBING THE ANTICS OF A AMPHIBIOUS TURTLE
emo faggort DICK: POST IT. THATS IT.
emo faggort DICK: HAHA

[Fat Puppy]

VinDieselDesire: SHAQ FUCKED EINSTEIN
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ LIVES IN A HOLE.
VinDieselDesire: A BUTTHOLE
emo faggort DICK: HAW
VinDieselDesire: AND ON THE WEEKENDS, HE POPS OUT AND PLAYS FOR THE LAKERS. AND PAYS CHILD SUPPORT FOR HIS CHILDREN. THEY HAVE LEPROSY. HE STILL KINDA LOVES THEM.
emo faggort DICK: SAYING RAISINS TO SHAQ IS LIKE SAYING CUNT TO A WOMAN. NOT PRETTY
VinDieselDesire: SHAQ'S FATHER ONCE TRIED TO EAT A WATERMELON WHOLE. SHAQ WILL NEVER FORGET THE LOOK OF UTTER TERROR AND DESPAIR ON HIS FATHERS FACE. HIS DAD SUDDENLY STARTED HAVING SEIZURES. SHAQ WAS HORRIFIED. THEN HE REALIZED THAT THIS WASN'T HIS FATHER, JUST SOME FUCKING HOBO FROM THE STREET. SO SHAQ FARTED ON HIS FACE. THE BITCH DESERVED IT TOO.
emo faggort DICK: FUCKAHAHAHAHA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S HOBBIES INCLUDE CHESS, DRAUGHTS, BACKGAMMON, AND DATE RAPE.
emo faggort DICK: ENOUGH DUDE. POST IT
VinDieselDesire: SHAQ USED TO BE A SCIENTIST, YOU KNOW. HE WAS PRETTY RENOWNED TOO, ESPECIALLY WHEN HE DISCOVERED WHY IT IS THAT JEWS ARE SO DAMN CHEAP. IT TURNS OUT THAT ALL THE JEWS LOST THEIR WIVES IN A POKER GAME WITH SOME SPICS AND ******S, AND NEVER FORGOT IT. SO, TO THIS DAY, THEY WILL NEVER, EVER, HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN. EVER.
emo faggort DICK: POST
VinDieselDesire: K
emo faggort DICK: IM GOING BED
emo faggort DICK: GAGAGAGA
VinDieselDesire: KKKK
emo faggort DICK: AHAHHAHA
emo faggort DICK: THATS THE FUNNIEST IN A WHILE

[Jaymond]

I'd like to be the first to vote that this be archived.
I sat here and laughed out loud to at least 40 lines in this thread.

GOD.

[Dick Harris]

emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T LIKE WAFFLES.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ THOUGHT GHOST SHIP WAS A GOOD MOVIE.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ COINED THE PHRASE, 'HEY. GET OUTTA HEEAH.' IT WAS DURING A GAME OF SCRABBLE.
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHAHA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ SCORED 10000000 POINTS ON TIME CRISIS 3 IN A RECENT ARCADE VISIT
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HAS A PHOBIA OF SHOEHORNS
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ THOUGHT MORTAL KOMBAT WAS GOOD, BUT VIRTUA FIGHTER MADE IT LOOK LIKE AIDS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ'S GREAT GRANDFATHER INVENTED GUNPOWDER.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DRESSES UP AS JESUS AND FIGHTS CRIME ON THE 15TH OF EVERY MONTH
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ DOESN'T HAVE LEPROSY.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ EATS LEPROSY FOR BREAKFAST
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ WOULD HAVE SEX WITH A MINOR IF IT WAS LEGAL
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ'S WATCH CAN NOT ONLY TELL YOU WHAT TIME IT IS, BUT WHERE HARRISON FORD IS AT ALL TIMES.
emo faggort DICK: hahaha
War Is AWESOME: hahahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ CO STARRED IN THE SEQUEL TO TRON
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T SMOKE.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ SHOT J.R, AND MR.BURNS
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ WILL NEVER BE ON PUNK'D. DUE TO THE FACT HE IS ASHTON KUTCHER'S GODSON.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HATES STEVEN SEAGAL FILMS.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS RESPONSIBLE FOR 9 OUT OF 10 CASES OF SYPHILLIS.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE VERY EXISTANCE OF THE PLANET PLUTO.
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ MADE A HOLE IN THE OZONE LAYER WITH HIS EYES.
War Is AWESOME: hahahaaha
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ GETS MISTAKEN FOR WOLVERINE A LOT. CUT THAT SHIT OUT. HE ISN'T WOLVERINE.
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHAHA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ WANTED TO PLAY MARION IN REQUIEM FOR A DREAM.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ FOUND HOME ALONE 'MILDLY OFFENSIVE TO CHINKS'
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ WANTS TO FIGHT HUGO WEAVING
War Is AWESOME: hahahahahah
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ HAS FISTS BIGGER THAN YOUR HOUSE
emo faggort DICK: IF SHAQ HAD A FIGHT WITH GODZILLA, THEN GODZILLA WOULD DIE OF CANCER
War Is AWESOME: WHEN SHAQ SHITS. I SHIT.
emo faggort DICK: WHEN SHAQ LAUGHS, IT ECHOS UNTIL IT FINALLY DIES OUT IN PARIS.
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ ONCE DATED TOBEY MAGUIRE. SHAQ THOUGHT TOBEY WAS 'CUTE. BUT AFRAID OF COMMITMENT.'
emo faggort DICK: hahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ STARS AS THE HORSE IN SEABISCUIT
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ DOESNT LIKE ME. HE THINKS I, 'LOOK LIKE A BITCH.'
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ OWNS BRAZIL
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ HAS A VACATION HOME IN BOLIVIA. HE GOES THERE WHEN PEOPLE ARE OUT TO KILL HIM.
emo faggort DICK: HAHA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ TURNS INTO BUTTER WHEN PUT IN THE WASHING MACHINE
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ ONCE STABBED A JEW FOR BEING 'TOO ******Y'
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ TURNS INTO A WEREWOLF EVERY FRIDAY AND HUNTS DOWN TEACHERS
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ ONCE THREW A SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR ROBERT DENIRO, THE MUSICAL GUEST THAT NIGHT WAS KITTIE.
emo faggort DICK: GAGAG
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ IS INVISIBLE AT NIGHT
War Is AWESOME: SHAQ DOES DRUGS. AND BY DRUGS I MEAN PUSH UPS.
emo faggort DICK: HAHHAHA
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ DOESN'T LIKE PUSSY. IT SMELLS OF TUNA. AND TUNA IS FOR PUSSIES.
War Is AWESOME: hahahahaahaha
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ LOVES DOING SEX TO HIMSELF IN PUBLIC TOILETS
emo faggort DICK: SHAQ.
emo faggort DICK: HAHAHAA SHIT YOUR LJ IS HILARIOUS
War Is AWESOME: DUDE
War Is AWESOME: ive been laughing non stop for the last hour
War Is AWESOME: and now i feel like i just had sex or ran a mile or something



to the archives.

[Jason Ruiz]

http://www.livejournal.com/~disasturbator

[Cliffmosher]

This thread is godly. When it dies, it has to be archieved.

[Jaymond]

Just.. all moderators: Please don't let it die. Don't even let it dwindle. Just archive it now. While the cherries are still sweet.
Harris has gone to bed now. So it's not going to be good again.

ARCHIVE!