Let's Jam this Bog with Roasts

[Slime]

Originally Posted by Eric Ryan

hahaha holy shit

and its linked from Facebook

[Sam Hughes]

Originally Posted by Eric Ryan

Old Tree Totally Looks Like Clint Eastwood

Hahahaha! It's a spitting image.

[Air Rick]

[Lord Blazer]

[Slime]

hidden fact: my mom went on a date with bill murray

apparently the car behind them hit their taxi, so he got out and jumped on the hood of their car.

she was annoyed cause he could do stuff like that and people were fine with it, because he was "bill murray". also, he kept getting asked for autographs and didnt have enough time to focus on talking to her, which pissed her off (but supposedly he was annoyed too, but he dealt with it)

my past-potential-father:

[Skittlebrau]

Thats a neat story.

[Lord Blazer]

[Samurai Clinton]

Here is an essay that describes an ordeal that is in great debt of justification:

Some DJs might have some high standards, but they dishonor both themselves and those with eccentric music taste by having low standards as well. Here it will be explained why you should hire me to provide music for a party instead of traditional DJs.

Some DJs who provide music for a party or venue often have a bloated assortment of equipment and can give some a bad day (especially with more carbon footprint). What I mean by bloated will be described in a list below:

*They use big ass speakers with an AC input and amplification circuitry of their own and XLR jacks from a PA system that amplifies the sound (doncha think its enough that the PA system itself has amplification circuitry too?)
*They use expensive CD players with 2 slots (don't you think a mid-range player with 1 slot is enough?)
*They often have double turntables (half the time they never even do live scratching with them).
*Sometimes they have computers with them (however some of them won't even use the CD drive of them for CDs submitted by guests).

Now here are some other aspects of traditional DJs that have to change:

*They charge a hefty amount (why hire traditional DJs when [I'll explain the rest below on (1)])
*They have a very bad attitude about requests for songs that are less popular (if we made it mandatory for users to provide an MP3 player with the song they requested, while at the same time the DJ gave them the generosity to provide MP3 players of other songs, it would give dancers and general listeners more discipline of song requests, and would flourish the sales of MP3 players more effectively [my eccentric music taste earned me the discipline to submit a CD with less popular songs ahead of most others])
*They use equipment of high hardware standards whereas half the songs they play conform to low software (music) standards (my guidelines below will explain how the software standards are justified).
*They drive full-size vans too haul their big ass equipment (I just use a bicycle to haul my leaner, greener equipment.)
*They prioritize song requests poorly (for me, It's especially disgruntling when I hafta hear shitty music before a few catchy songs. If you had to hear 5 or 10 shitty songs just to hear one good song would suck ass!)

Now here is the equipment I provide for my run:
*A boombox (I could run my boombox for 6 hours on a lawn tractor battery, and if traditional DJs ran their equipment on a power inverter, the battery would be dead in less than 10 minutes.)
*An MP3 player (and my version of granting requests is by having others provide an MP3 player with their requested song, because MP3 players are the wave of the future).
*Cardboard (just what a breakdancer needs)
*a lawn tractor battery (some of it is explained in my boombox footnote)

Now here are some guidelines I have that make me superior to traditional DJs in some ways:
*I only charge $10 an hour unlike traditional DJs who charge $100+ an hour. (so you can save $$$ and go green by hiring me instead) [1]
*I will use other peoples' stereos if they are superior to my boombox (I will use them as long as the homeowners have the generosity for me to do so, and as long as my MP3 is compatible with the stereo. Traditional DJs don't use other peoples' stereos therefore their agenda isn't justified by a bloated setup of overkill, underused gadgets and high hardware standards with low software standards (e.g. songs that don't even have much of a catchy sound). Simple use of humble audio hardware justifies the general agenda.)
*I will take requests (but others have to provide an MP3 player of their song request in order for this to be feasible; for a few reasons: 1. it won't disrupt the primary playlist on my MP3 player; 2. if it became mandatory to a mainstream scale, the sales of MP3 players would skyrocket; 3. It will save me from bloating my own player with songs that I will only play for other people [a way to maintain music taste accuracy like expected for MP3 players, but who knows if multi-user MP3 players with independent save-stating could come to the market soon?]; I will not bullshit people by cutting off song requests like traditional DJs would, because traditional DJs have been known to have a bad attitude; but my guidelines are more understandable thus more reasonable.).

This is a message to 3DMMers since saving the environment and exercising are good for both the mind and body respectively (or could you say both?). Breakdancing is exercise. Since I know how to keep my costs down, that is why I charge a very low fee. I have put so much thought into my plan to tour the metropolis, that traditional DJs would just dishonor me. Since I know Jon Sprow lives in my metropolis, he can hire me anytime since I have the balls to go green and provide bonus services such as breakdancing and the generosity for others to use their MP3s. And another bonus I could throw in is to have the ladies dance with the DJ (Dick Jockey! GET IT?)

[Lord Blazer]

Without reading that, I am going to say "wow."

[Lord Blazer]

aaaaaaaalright let's pick it apart.

Originally Posted by Samurai Clinton

Here is an essay that describes an ordeal that is in great debt of justification:

here we go.

Some DJs might have some high standards, but they dishonor both themselves and those with eccentric music taste by having low standards as well. Here it will be explained why you should hire me to provide music for a party instead of traditional DJs.

They should commit hari-kari for dishonoring their families.

Some DJs who provide music for a party or venue often have a bloated assortment of equipment and can give some a bad day (especially with more carbon footprint). What I mean by bloated will be described in a list below:

*They use big ass speakers with an AC input and amplification circuitry of their own and XLR jacks from a PA system that amplifies the sound (doncha think its enough that the PA system itself has amplification circuitry too?)
*They use expensive CD players with 2 slots (don't you think a mid-range player with 1 slot is enough?)
*They often have double turntables (half the time they never even do live scratching with them).
*Sometimes they have computers with them (however some of them won't even use the CD drive of them for CDs submitted by guests).

Do you know what mixing is? Of course you don't, you're not a DJ. You are a guy with computer speakers and a car battery.

Now here are some other aspects of traditional DJs that have to change:

*They charge a hefty amount (why hire traditional DJs when [I'll explain the rest below on (1)])
*They have a very bad attitude about requests for songs that are less popular (if we made it mandatory for users to provide an MP3 player with the song they requested, while at the same time the DJ gave them the generosity to provide MP3 players of other songs, it would give dancers and general listeners more discipline of song requests, and would flourish the sales of MP3 players more effectively [my eccentric music taste earned me the discipline to submit a CD with less popular songs ahead of most others])
*They use equipment of high hardware standards whereas half the songs they play conform to low software (music) standards (my guidelines below will explain how the software standards are justified).
*They drive full-size vans too haul their big ass equipment (I just use a bicycle to haul my leaner, greener equipment.)
*They prioritize song requests poorly (for me, It's especially disgruntling when I hafta hear shitty music before a few catchy songs. If you had to hear 5 or 10 shitty songs just to hear one good song would suck ass!)

what does "low software (music) standards" mean? Music isn't software, man. Furthermore, I will fall back on the "other people like those songs that you hate; you are in the minority" argument. If people did not like these songs, they would not get played. A good DJ will play to the crowd. DJs that won't play your stupid songs are doing so because no one else wants to hear your songs, they want to hear some Flo Rida and some Nelly and get some booty grindin' goin' on.

Now here is the equipment I provide for my run:
*A boombox (I could run my boombox for 6 hours on a lawn tractor battery, and if traditional DJs ran their equipment on a power inverter, the battery would be dead in less than 10 minutes.)
*An MP3 player (and my version of granting requests is by having others provide an MP3 player with their requested song, because MP3 players are the wave of the future).
*Cardboard (just what a breakdancer needs)
*a lawn tractor battery (some of it is explained in my boombox footnote)

So if someone wants to hear a song they have to give you their iPod? That's fucking stupid. Why would they even pay you to "DJ" if they have to bring their own music?

Now here are some guidelines I have that make me superior to traditional DJs in some ways:
*I only charge $10 an hour unlike traditional DJs who charge $100+ an hour. (so you can save $$$ and go green by hiring me instead) [1]

Your equipment is crap so this is a ripoff.

*I will use other peoples' stereos if they are superior to my boombox (I will use them as long as the homeowners have the generosity for me to do so, and as long as my MP3 is compatible with the stereo. Traditional DJs don't use other peoples' stereos therefore their agenda isn't justified by a bloated setup of overkill, underused gadgets and high hardware standards with low software standards (e.g. songs that don't even have much of a catchy sound). Simple use of humble audio hardware justifies the general agenda.)

Again, music is not software, and their "agenda" is "justified" because they are providing a superior sound system.

*I will take requests (but others have to provide an MP3 player of their song request in order for this to be feasible; for a few reasons: 1. it won't disrupt the primary playlist on my MP3 player;

If you were a proper DJ, a single request would not bother your playlist.

2. if it became mandatory to a mainstream scale, the sales of MP3 players would skyrocket;

iPods, let alone every other mp3 player, are already ubiquitous, and requiring people to have one to request songs from a DJ would not increase sales at all. In fact, it would decrease the demand for DJs, and doubly decrease the demand for "DJs" like you.

3. It will save me from bloating my own player with songs that I will only play for other people [a way to maintain music taste accuracy like expected for MP3 players, but who knows if multi-user MP3 players with independent save-stating could come to the market soon?];

Get an mp3 player with a larger capacity. You are using obsolete technology.

I will not bullshit people by cutting off song requests like traditional DJs would, because traditional DJs have been known to have a bad attitude; but my guidelines are more understandable thus more reasonable.).

Every DJ I've ever met has been totally cool and even gone as far as to play Rick Astley if I requested it. Beat that.

This is a message to 3DMMers since saving the environment and exercising are good for both the mind and body respectively (or could you say both?). Breakdancing is exercise. Since I know how to keep my costs down, that is why I charge a very low fee. I have put so much thought into my plan to tour the metropolis, that traditional DJs would just dishonor me. Since I know Jon Sprow lives in my metropolis, he can hire me anytime since I have the balls to go green and provide bonus services such as breakdancing and the generosity for others to use their MP3s.

Going green does not require balls. You are going green in the same way that using a Volkswagon Beetle to tow an RV instead of a large pickup is going green. That is to say, not at all. You're just using inadequate tools for the job.

And another bonus I could throw in is to have the ladies dance with the DJ (Dick Jockey! GET IT?)

I think there should be less sexuality on the dance floor. GET IT?

[Slime]

a

[Slime]

Originally Posted by Kyle Magocs

Hahah, this is funny although its completely obvious how much effort they put into SEEMING like a terrible MS Paint job.

[Samurai Clinton]

I think the word sex means (Stupid to the EXtreme). That is how much concern sexual behavior raises.

I don't take dancing sexually nor do I accept the mainstream effect of it being taken sexually!

[Lord Blazer]

Originally Posted by Lohr

Hahah, this is funny although its completely obvious how much effort they put into SEEMING like a terrible MS Paint job.

In a new tab you open another one of your sites, a webcomic ironically maintained through a satirical cipher vaguely similar to that of your blog. It's called SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF.

You have legions of devoted fans, most of whom are totally convinced of your creative persona's sincerity. Which is just how you like it.

[Slime]

hahah, I already laughed at the one on the front page.

[Slime]

FUCK, there's only 6 of them? I could have kept reading these for a while.

[Lord Blazer]

Well, the real webcomic is still in progress. The sixth one just got added like, 10 minutes ago

[Samurai Clinton]

Modern technology makes justification of some traditional things an EPIC FAIL!

Because those with discipline have higher standards of dignity and respect and economic management.

[Lord Blazer]

I agree. Buzzword meme.

Because buzzword buzzword economy buzzword.

[Samurai Clinton]

If it means making idle threats to key the cargo vans of those fatso DJs, I am still going to show them how I MEAN BUSINESS one way or another!

[Lord Blazer]

I am going to key your bicycle.

[Samurai Clinton]

Originally Posted by Kyle Magocs

I am going to key your bicycle.

GOD DAMN!

I said "idle", not "FOR REAL".

Seriously.

Or maybe you meant IDLE too!

[Lord Blazer]

Maybe.

[Lord Blazer]

[Slime]

Samurai Clinton I made you dance to my 3DMM song, I'm gonna probably remix and autotune a bunch of different games and things, so I wanted to get my best 3DMM one on there and just threw together a crappy video in a few minutes. Hopefully that is OK with you, I assume it is since Bryce Farlow used you in a video and you liked that.