Let's Jam this Bog with Roasts

[Yamles]

I'm leaving the house to be around people for the first time since November and I don't want to thanks

[Shaun]

[Yamles]

I cancelled my plans it's okay guys

[Phil Williamson]

no Jamie go do stuff!! it's hard and sucky to take the plunge, but no one has ever brought themselves out of a depression by moping around the house more

[Yamles]

I've moved them until Friday. I have counselling on Thursday; I'm confident all my problems will be sorted in one day by an professional.

[Yamles]

The plans were lunch with a workmate which means going to my work, it's a bit overwhelming. Also it's my maternity leave replacements first day, she's got to be pretty intimidated and not sure what's going on.

[Yamles]

Excuses excuses

[Phil Williamson]

ok but try really hard to make it happen on Friday! maybe try some intermediate "sort of around people" stuff in the meantime to work up to it? like a walk in the park?

remember that even if you feel like you "ought to" be depressed and mopey (a totally common and understandable reaction after a legitimate personal crisis), you have a kid who's young enough not to really understand what's going on, so to him you being all depressed and out of sorts IS the crisis, and you owe it to him to do your best to resolve it, even if that means pushing yourself to do stuff that's hard and uncomfortable. (at the same time of course, you're only human, so don't feel bad or guilty for not just being able to "snap out of it" immediately.) long term though, 3dmm.com is on your side so you can't fail!!!

(obvious caveat to all this is that I barely know you or your situation so all this advice might be totally inapplicable, inappropriate, and useless!)

[Yamles]

Thanks! I have done some people stuff, went to a BBQ with my husbands work mate which was fine and I still visit my grandma twice a week. My physio has told me to do less which doesn't help, but at the same time makes it okay to not do anything. I've made sure I'm normal with Matthew, if anything we are having more fun because I'm home more often. Work is just difficult. I don't want to go back sooooo bad. I was so happy that I wouldn't have to go back (I was going to quit after my maternity leave was us and stay at home for a few years and study, then go back when the kids were in school) so the idea of going back is so shit, like a big reminder of how off track my plans are now. Also either people are going to avoid talking about it, or talk about it and both of those situations piss me off already.

I WILL on Friday, I'm doing it so I can ease back into work in February. But hermitting is really good

[Dungeon Snake]

fuck that, hermitting owns. i understand for some people it makes them feel worse but i find going out with people irritating and exhausting 9/10ths of the time. don't feel bad about rescheduling/calling off some workfriend bullshit. go for a nice walk and do some photography, or go to a public place where nobody knows who you are. i find that way more comforting. just my 2 centz

[Compcat]

I'm glad to have a hermitting day today. I used to have them all the time, but now even on my one day off I'm always getting called in to work. Today though I straight up asked my boss to reschedule the appointment he was calling me in to cover for. He made it sound like it wasn't a big deal though, which is good.

[Shaun]

you ever cancel plans 'cause you felt shitty, then when you felt better, regretted canceling the plans, and then felt shitty because you canceled those plans?

u can't win

[Slime]

love 2 hermit

[Slime]

we never mentioned it here, but joey boots of "goober" fame died

[Izak MD]

nah nah i mentioned it somewhere

biggest tragedy of 2016 imo

[Phil Williamson]

Originally Posted by Yamles

Work is just difficult. I don't want to go back sooooo bad. I was so happy that I wouldn't have to go back (I was going to quit after my maternity leave was us and stay at home for a few years and study, then go back when the kids were in school) so the idea of going back is so shit, like a big reminder of how off track my plans are now.

wait why would that have to change? was the whole plan dependent on getting some kind of government aid that you can get if you have a baby, but not a young child?

and hermitting definitely has its time and place and I'm a big fan personally BUT if your routine is hermitting, and you're depressed, you gotta break that cycle in the same way you would if your routine was going out and getting smashed at the club every night and you were depressed.

[Yamles]

Because it doesn't make sense for me to be off work with no baby, Matthew goes to daycare. If we had two kids it would make more sense for me to be at home but we can easily afford for Matthew to be in daycare full time while I work. And because he's an only child it's better for him to be around other kids than just with me at home.

Also maternity leave here is 12 months and I had to quit work at 9 weeks because of how sick I was, so I would be going back work when the baby was only four or five months old, and I'd like a bit more time at home than that so we planned for me to finish up altogether. We can afford it but there's just no point me doing it now.

[Yamles]

I have to say maternity leave here is pretty amazing - 18 weeks of it is paid then the rest of the year is unpaid but most people qualify for a tax credit to help them out. I found out that if you go on maternity leave and have a miscarriage (my situation) no many how many weeks you were they will still pay you the 18 weeks! I didn't know before I negotiated with my work to start back in February otherwise I would have taken longer off.

[Rabid Dinosaur]

I met Todd Trainer from Shellac a couple years back and told him he was one of my favorite drummers and he responded really derisively like, "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT"

Steve Albini and the other guy were a lot nicer

he's still one of my favorite drummers tbh. fucking awesome.

[Izak MD]

i can't stand people who don't know how to take a compliment

how fucking difficult is it to just be like "thanks man"

[Dungeon Snake]

Originally Posted by Rabid Dinosaur

I met Todd Trainer from Shellac a couple years back and told him he was one of my favorite drummers and he responded really derisively like, "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT"

Steve Albini and the other guy were a lot nicer

he's still one of my favorite drummers tbh. fucking awesome.

haha yeah i agree with izak, that's really obnoxious. i feel like that's a punk thing, like there's a certain type of punk musician has to take any comment from somebody they dont personally know & try to twist it into some kind of holier-than-thou social commentary that shows how much smarter and woker and more scene-conscious they are

[Izak MD]

Originally Posted by Shaun

in case anyone was wondering:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10513568-the-artist

it has an average rating of FOUR STARS!!!!

[Shaun]

[Yamles]

Phil Williamson I went through with my lunch plans today and it made me feel about 50x better so I'm glad. I think I needed a few more days.

[Phil Williamson]