Let's Jam this Bog with Roasts

[Bjorny]

hahaha omg mod dude

[Scatterbrain]

hahah i still read that thread at least once a year

[Happyjuice]

I worked as an Army contractor, does that count?

[Happyjuice]

[Dungeon Snake]

Originally Posted by Bown

Klaymen didn't seem like the army type

don't forget MOD Dude

no claymen is very much the army type

or at least the american army, i dunno what the british army is like

[Happyjuice]

Originally Posted by Dungeon Snake

no claymen is very much the army type

or at least the american army, i dunno what the british army is like

They aren't too competent. To this day they're still trying to get Humpty Dumpty back together again

[Bown]

just because he was dumb and a redneck doesn't mean he belonged in the american army. he was also sort of a pussy iirc

[Tony Clay]

That defines american army material

[Dungeon Snake]

yeah seriously, bown you obviously dont know very much about the american army. when i was on base we used to make fun of them for being pussies pretty much every time we saw them

it's like 90% people who were unfit to function in the real world and have some beta manpoon complex that they think will disappear if they engage in warfare. but really the american army is just a giant bloated clusterfuck whose sole reason for existence is to justify massive DoD expenditure on ridiculous vanity projects & wasteful contracts, and the vast majority of soldiers will never see anything close to combat

[Dungeon Snake]

i think the british army must be tougher or something, probably because it's much smaller so they can afford to be more selective, and they probably have a higher ratio of badasses to do-nothings. probably more people joining because they're actually hard and want to kill people, rather than because they see it as a benefit-rich career boost.
i dunno i only knew 2 dudes who were in the british army and they were both major hardasses. actually they were both really similar. COMPLETE pains-in-the-ass, stick-in-the-mud by-the-BOOK-dammit straight-edge buttmunchers. one guy was like... actually i forget his title but he was basically the school punisher or enforcer or whatever at my boarding school, DEAN of JUSTICE or something like that. he was ex-SAS. he used to ride around at night in a little golf-cart type thing with a swivel-mounted searchlight on it, looking for kids who were making out or skinny dipping or smoking weed or whatever.
the other guy was like assistant manager at this wilderness conservation corps i worked for, and he would like go into apoplectic screaming fits at the volunteers where like his veins would bulge out and he would like start uncontrollably throwing objects and shit. both pretty crazy

[Tony Clay]

I went thru the whole recruitment process when I was 18. Got as far as the end of MEPS and when I told then I had a history of asthma they acted like I had the bubonic plague. Lots of morons there.

[Scatterbrain]

Originally Posted by Dungeon Snake

he used to ride around at night in a little golf-cart type thing with a swivel-mounted searchlight on it, looking for kids who were making out or skinny dipping or smoking weed or whatever.

hahah nice

[Dungeon Snake]

Originally Posted by Tony Clay

I went thru the whole recruitment process when I was 18. Got as far as the end of MEPS and when I told then I had a history of asthma they acted like I had the bubonic plague. Lots of morons there.

yah i got as far as the psych screening before they said "no thanks"

but what was weird was the Marine Corps was like "YEAAhhhh... C'mon over here kiddo.... we can make AAAaaaaaLL that disappear right off your file "

[Bown]

haha yeah ok i didn't really know all that about the American army but it was fun to learn

[Happyjuice]

Originally Posted by Dungeon Snake

yah i got as far as the psych screening before they said "no thanks"

but what was weird was the Marine Corps was like "YEAAhhhh... C'mon over here kiddo.... we can make AAAaaaaaLL that disappear right off your file "

It's cause canon fodder

[Dungeon Snake]

well that and also i think the marine corps definitely looks for a certain personality type and i think i fit that mold. i think they actually prefer people with strong self-loathing and anger issues because it's easier to focus them into self-correcting killing machines. because unlike the other branches, the Marines have but one purpose - KILL, KILL, KILL 'EM ALL

and also provide weather reports

[Slime]

welcome to the US army

[Rabid Dinosaur]

Originally Posted by Happyjuice

They aren't too competent. To this day they're still trying to get Humpty Dumpty back together again

..hahahah

[Rabid Dinosaur]

wasn't Pirate Balloon in the British army? he's a chill guy

[Dungeon Snake]

Originally Posted by Lohr

welcome to the US army

seriously dude the average GI company was the most fubar shit i've ever seen.


NOW BEFORE I RELATE THE FOLLOWING ANECDOTES, allow me to preface:
some of the most badass individuals i have ever met in my life were in the U.S. Army. I have met people that could dominate me in every sense that it is possible to be dominated. i have met operatives so insane and murderous that it made me uncomfortable to be within 20 yards of them. i have met men who smelt claymores for fun and called FOB Recon "Kill-A-Hajj" day. I've met mediators who i would no sooner fight than stab myself.

that being said, however, the US Army is 90% full of weak-bodies and scum. i remember on one particular occasion, a 10th Mountain company was taking a PT hike, going up a double-black ski slope (with snow and everything). We happened to be PT'ing right next to them. The 10th Mountain boys were carrying standard tactical loads - that is, 25lbs packs, weapons, body armor helmets boots etc. We were carrying line gear + QB - that is, 35-55 pound packs, a 5-gallon box of water (40 pounds), tools, nomex hardhats boots etc.
we smoked em going up the ski slope, marching in perfect formation (each hotshot exactly 5 feet behind the prior), while they were sagging and struggling up with people falling out, puking etc. they probably started about 20 min before us.
as we marched by passing them, one of the guys in the Army line muttered to us, "fuckin' show offs"
unanimously, all 20 of us sounded off: "FUCKIN PUSSIES."
that's the army

[Slime]

hahah

[Happyjuice]

[Tony Clay]

christo's story rocks

[John Coffee]

Originally Posted by Dungeon Snake

seriously dude the average GI company was the most fubar shit i've ever seen.


NOW BEFORE I RELATE THE FOLLOWING ANECDOTES, allow me to preface:
some of the most badass individuals i have ever met in my life were in the U.S. Army. I have met people that could dominate me in every sense that it is possible to be dominated. i have met operatives so insane and murderous that it made me uncomfortable to be within 20 yards of them. i have met men who smelt claymores for fun and called FOB Recon "Kill-A-Hajj" day. I've met mediators who i would no sooner fight than stab myself.

that being said, however, the US Army is 90% full of weak-bodies and scum. i remember on one particular occasion, a 10th Mountain company was taking a PT hike, going up a double-black ski slope (with snow and everything). We happened to be PT'ing right next to them. The 10th Mountain boys were carrying standard tactical loads - that is, 25lbs packs, weapons, body armor helmets boots etc. We were carrying line gear + QB - that is, 35-55 pound packs, a 5-gallon box of water (40 pounds), tools, nomex hardhats boots etc.
we smoked em going up the ski slope, marching in perfect formation (each hotshot exactly 5 feet behind the prior), while they were sagging and struggling up with people falling out, puking etc. they probably started about 20 min before us.
as we marched by passing them, one of the guys in the Army line muttered to us, "fuckin' show offs"
unanimously, all 20 of us sounded off: "FUCKIN PUSSIES."
that's the army

remember as a kid and your family members would come back from the military all yoked out and stone-faced like they went to prison? nowadays these fuckers are so soft! thanks to obama probably

[French Fry]

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