Let's Jam this Bog with Roasts

[Tuna Hematoma]

YOU'RE a fucking episode




OF TOURETTES!

[Jt Copper]

ha.

[Slime]

[BjergClimber]

Originally Posted by Tuna Hematoma

YOU'RE a fucking episode




OF TOURETTES!

swer on me mum's lyfe m8 ill deck u

[Tuna Hematoma]

u wot m8

[BjergClimber]

swer ill hook u rite in the gabber m8

[Tuna Hematoma]

Rule 1: Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rule 2: The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
Rule 3: Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.[8]
Rule 4: A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen. (DS9 Novel)
Rule 5: If you can't break a contract, bend it.
Rule 6: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule 7: Keep your ears open.[9]
Rule 8: Small print leads to large risk.
Rule 9: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Rule 10: Greed is eternal.[10]
Rule 11: Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
Rule 12: Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
Rule 13: Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
Rule 14: Anything stolen is pure profit.
Rule 15: Acting stupid is often smart.
Rule 16: A deal is a deal...until a better one comes along.
Rule 17: A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi.[11]
Rule 18: A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.[12]
Rule 19: Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Rule 20: When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
Rule 21: Never place friendship above profit.[13]
Rule 22: A wise man can hear profit in the wind.[4]
Rule 23: Nothing is more important than your health, except for your money.
Rule 24: Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
Rule 25: You can't make a deal if you're dead.
Rule 26: The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; they stole it.
Rule 27: There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Rule 28: Morality is always defined by those in power.
Rule 29: When someone says "It's not the money", they're lying!
Rule 30: Talk is cheap; synthehol makes profit.
Rule 31: Never insult a Ferengi's mother. Quote: Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother![14]
Rule 32: Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects
Rule 33: It never hurts to suck up to the boss.[4]
Rule 34: War is good for business.[15]
Rule 35: Peace is good for business.[16]
Rule 36: Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore.
Rule 37: You can always buy back a lost reputation.
Rule 38: Free advertising is cheap.
Rule 39: Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers.
Rule 40: She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
Rule 41: Profit is its own reward.
Rule 42: Only negotiate when you are certain to profit.
Rule 43: Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
Rule 44: Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Rule 45: Expand or die. (reportedly this rule was given to the Ferengi by the Breen)
Rule 46: Labour camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person.
Rule 47: Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.[17]
Rule 48: The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.[18]
Rule 49: Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent.
Rule 50: Never bluff a Klingon.
Rule 51: Never admit a mistake if there's someone else to blame.
Rule 52: Never ask when you can take.
Rule 53: Sell first; ask questions later.
Rule 54: Never buy anything you can't sell.
Rule 55: Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.
Rule 56: Pursue profit; women come later.
Rule 57: Good customers are as rare as latinum—treasure them.[19]
Rule 58: There is no substitute for success.
Rule 59: Free advice is seldom cheap.[4]
Rule 60: Keep your lies consistent.
Rule 62: The riskier the road, the greater the profit.[20]
Rule 65: Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
Rule 69: When she discusses money for "favors", charge her what she'll pay.
Rule 74: Knowledge equals profit.
Rule 75: Home is where the heart is...but the stars are made of latinum.[21]
Rule 76: Every once in a while, declare peace....it confuses the hell out of your enemies.[22]
Rule 77: If you break it, I'll charge you for it.(ST:O)
Rule 79: Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
Rule 82: The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Rule 85: Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
Rule 89: Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
Rule 94: Females and finances don't mix.
Rule 95: Expand...or die.[Error: this is a repeat of #45]
Rule 97: Enough...is never enough.
Rule 98: Every man has his price.
Rule 99: Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Rule 102: Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.[23]
Rule 103: Sleep can interfere with opportunity.[24]
Rule 104: Faith moves mountains...of inventory.
Rule 106: There is no honor in poverty.
Rule 109: Dignity and an empty sack...is worth the sack.[25]
Rule 111: Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them.[26][27]
Rule 112: Never have sex with the boss' sister.[28]
Rule 113: Always have sex with the boss.
Rule 121: Everything is for sale, even friendship.
Rule 123: Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
Rule 125: You can't make a deal if you're dead.[29][Error: this is a repeat of #25]
Rule 139: Wives serve, brothers inherit.[30]
Rule 141: Only fools pay retail.
Rule 144: There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Rule 162: Even in the worst of times, someone makes a profit.
Rule 168: Whisper your way to success.
(unnumbered, but mentioned as part of the "original" 173[31]) A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
Rule 177: Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
Rule 181: Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Rule 189: Let others keep their reputation...you keep their latinum.
Rule 190: Hear all, trust nothing.[32]
Rule 192: Never cheat a Klingon...unless you can get away with it.
Rule 194: It's always good business to know your customers before they walk in the door.[33]
Rule 202: The justification for profit is profit.
Rule 203: New customers are like razor-toothed greeworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.[34]
Rule 208: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.[35]
Rule 211: Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.[36]
Rule 213: If you don't know what you're doing, make it up as you go.[37]
Rule 214: Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.[38]
Rule 217: You can't free a fish from water.[39]
Rule 218: Always know what you're buying.
Rule 223: Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
Rule 229: Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Rule 236: You can't buy fate.
Rule 239: Never be afraid to mislabel a product.[40]
Rule 242: More is good...all is better.
Rule 255: A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.
Rule 261: A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Rule 263: Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.[41]
Rule 266: When in doubt, lie.
Rule 269: Never trust a merchant who insists on using their own scales.
Rule 270: Always insist on using your own scales.
Rule 284: Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
Rule 285: No good deed ever goes unpunished.[42]
Rule 286: When Morn leaves, it's all over. (made up by Quark)[43]
Rule 299: Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time. (A fake rule made up by Neelix in an episode of Star Trek: Voyager.)

[Slime]

[Compcat]

[Bobby Swisha]

Metal Bear Solid

http://rt.com/in-motion/bear-us-restaurant-cctv-064/

[Bobby Swisha]

Originally Posted by Compcat

hahahaha oh man. this really made me laugh.

[Eukos]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_3728077.html

[Trooper]

Ahahaha, that dog. Man, I'd post that on Facebook but embedding is disabled. Who the fuck does that? What benefit does it possibly have?

[Slime]

sometimes ppl with ads disable cause youre more likely to get a click on youtube page for a few reasons

for vids without ads i dunno

[Tuna Hematoma]

http://www.fakenamegenerator.com/

Good site.

[Tuna Hematoma]

[Tuna Hematoma]

I'VE TAKEN DOWN BIGGER MEN THAN YOU, PICARD!

[Compcat]

[Trooper]

Originally Posted by Tuna Hematoma

This is funny but fucking hell, the silly music is stuck in my head now.

[Bobby Swisha]

Werner Herzog made a documentary about texting while driving


http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/..._the_next.html

[Izak MD]

at first i though "oh man that's silly, what a silly man" about the herzog movie, and then after clicking the link, it just seems like a very depressing film

i'll watch it this evening

hopefully it will be as good as that documentary he made about the auctioneer contest

[Jt Copper]

[Dominator Dan]

haha HOHHHHHHHHH SHIT SON

[Compcat]

[Tuna Hematoma]

http://www.cbc.ca/strombo/world/newl...smic-wars.html