Sgt. Steve

Sgt. Steve
Directed by Jason Ruiz

Three years after its release, you don't need me to tell you that Sgt. Steve is one of the most beloved classics in 3DMM history, and unless you were born with no intelligence whatsoever, you certainly don't need me to explain why. Perhaps the strangest thing about the film is that it's a turning point for Ruiz, solidifying his position as a comic genius in the community after years of action movies, just before his inexplicable obsession with awkward pauses and September 11th jokes took hold; and yet it feels completely natural, like he discovered a strong confidence in his abilities and then promptly lost it. As a result, Steve remains Ruiz's best creation, because damn it all, the movie's got a heart; it's the last time I've felt like he actually cared about the characters he's created (edit: as of about a year ago; his recent work seems to have picked up in this regard), where the plot works even as it frequently pokes fun at itself, where Jeff Ching can (badly) voice the female lead and actually sell it. It's no wonder everyone lined up to give him fellatio for the next year straight -- there's not one part of the movie that feels out of place, and all its elements combine to make something that works like no other comedy made with the program.

Perhaps the best description of the movie, in case you've been living under a rock for three years, is that it plays like Forrest Gump on crack. Easily the most demented take on the "retarded person teaches us about life" genre I've ever seen, what's interesting is that Steve isn't particularly stupid most of the time, just generally innocent and trying to make sense out of his life. In spite of the rampant comedy, there's a genuine character development thread that Steve follows; we identify with him, we feel sad when things drive him down, and we cheer when he succeeds. That's a hell of an accomplishment for a movie like this, where the comedic moments burst out of the canvas with a life of their own before returning to the actual story (such as where Jason helpfully and enthusiastically takes the time to remind us that sodomy is illegal in the state of California). In the hands of almost anyone else, these moments would bring the plot to a screeching halt, and the film itself wouldn't be able to keep pace with the comedy. I could see many different versions of this movie fumbling the ball, losing track of what's important and succumbing to the randomness of the humor, forgetting about its characters. But no, Jason doggedly keeps the thing on track, fluidly balancing wild variations in the tone of the movie, jumping in and out of self-indulgent tangents like Saved by the Bell episodes, discussions about uncontrollable masturbation, and appearances of an increasingly hammered narrator without it being difficult to follow. And he makes it look easy.

Three years after release, I'm still hesitant to spoil anything, for fear that someone out there still hasn't seen this thing, but if you haven't watched it by now, screw it -- I'm gonna tell you about the absolute genius that you're missing. We open with Jason himself, unnecessarily explaining that there are things in the movie that aren't really accurate to reality, which is a great joke in itself (NO, I WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT!!!!1!). Fortunately, he's hired a professor to point out such innacuracies, solely so Ruiz can bash him across the skull with a wooden plank every time he starts to speak. This gag gets a few recurring moments and then disappears for a long time, so it can come up at the last possible moment in an absolutely brilliant way....but I'm getting off track. We're then introduced to the narrator, who will be our guide through the complex tale that is Steve's life....until he becomes so physically intoxicated that he stops even pretending to know what's going on, about five minutes into the movie. We then meet Steve's parents....who are energetically fucking in the backseat of a taxi cab overlooking a city, as the narrator explains that this is the conception of our protagonist. The sex scene itself is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in a 3DMM movie, such as when Steve's parents slap each other across the face just before orgasm. The explanation of what caused Steve's brain damage which immediately follows is hilarious, brilliant, and the first example of inaccurate physics that Jason went to great lengths to warn us about.

All of this is in the first few minutes of the movie, and I'm already laughing harder than almost anything else I've seen in 3DMM. But Steve's story is just beginning, and the slapstick quiets down just noticably enough to make room for an actual humanity. We laugh just as hard and as often, but we are also interested in the story, which unlike many of its imitators, isn't just a clothesline for lowbrow jokes. Steve's story has real poignancy to it, and the movie is matched in its comedy aspects by some great musical montages, which advance the story at least as well as the dialogue scenes do. The drive home from The Jason Show, the first time Steve sees Suzanne, the manic joy of Steve running home after getting a date with her, Ruiz has almost made this into a musical with these scenes, which are important to the plot and just plain hilarious at the same time. The fantastic use of the music is matched by Ruiz's legendary acting skills; no one can voice as many characters as he does in a single movie without it being obvious. His personality shines through in every line of dialogue, so you feel his influence one the movie rather than thinking that every character sounds the same. And then there's Jeff Ching's performance as Suzanne, not even trying to sound like a girl or even doing any real acting, which is hilarious in the way it works.

It's funny how even though Jason wasn't putting his full effort into the construction of the movie, Sgt. Steve hasn't aged dramatically. There's something in the scenery and animation that's servicable enough to work without drawing criticism. Occasionally the animation is even excellent, such as the underappreciated choreography in the fight between Steve and Richard near the end of the movie, a brief echo of similar scenes from Action Joe 2. There are pans, zooms, shakycam effects, and even rotating shots where they're necessary, and they're as fluid as anything else 2001 could offer. The movie's visuals are never meant to stand out as eye candy, they just do their job, and do it well. As if all this wasn't enough, Sgt. Steve has one of the greatest 3DMM villains of all time; and if Buddy doesn't hold the number one spot, his introduction sure does. His reaction to being called 'jolly' by Richard is still one of the coolest, funniest moments I've had with a 3DMM movie.

For some unfathomable reason, Sgt. Steve DOES draw fire for being boring from some people -- these people are cold, inhuman monsters, and I will drink their blood. To date, few comedies work as well as this one does, but even it isn't invulnerable to the negative effects of hype. The 3DMM community has long had a habit of polarizing itself simply as a result of some people saying a film was fantastic; because one camp thinks it's one of the greatest movies ever, another camp must rise up to be skeptical right out of the gate and fail to give the movie the fair chance it deserves. But lest I let this review be a mouthpiece for my own complaints about movie criticism, I'll simply finish with this: Sgt. Steve is masterful, a powerful, hilarious, and surprisingly honest achievement in comedy and cinema. One of the funniest and best movies I've ever seen.

Critical Score: 100/100.
Personal Score: 100/100.

[Ninja Devil]

I agree with you Aaron, Sgt. Steve is the most funniest movies i've seen done in 3DMM. it gets a Personal Score from me of 100/100 to.

"Or does it?"