5DMM

5DMM
Directed by Daniel Martin and Denny Betterman

Think back, if you will, to the single most entertaining piece of animation you've ever seen in a 3DMM movie. Not the most detailed or the most fluidly pieced together one. The one that made your eyes light up because of how amusing and well-timed it was. Now, imagine that animation stretched to a 40-minute film. You've now got a general idea of what watching 5DMM is like. Dan and Denny are some kind of 3DMM Dream Team; They reinforce each others' strengths and buffer each others' flaws from poking through. Well, to be sure, Dan's disorienting, fast-paced animation lurches are still there and Denny's awkward innocence still makes one slightly unsure of how to respond, but their pair-up fortunately doesn't amplify hiccups in the formula. This is like DD on overdrive. Hell, DD feels like C-SPAN or a cooking show compared to this.

The two-director chain movie formula is infamous for producing some of the most rancid, painful films in 3DMM history. In my review for Killing Spree, I labeled it as the sixth and final circle of PAM hell, the most disorganized, lurching, bloody rotting stump of a bad concept ever shat out by the human brain. That may have been a little hasty. Obviously I was thinking of movies on Killing Spree's level, the kind of scatterbrained animated vomit regurgitated onto a blank 3dmm file by newbies who think Patrick shooting at people is the pinnacle of entertainment. But I'd forgotten about classics like The Fight, or lesser-known successes like Griff vs. Kyle. 5DMM is more in that vein. I don't know if it's better than The Fight, but one could certainly put up a spirited argument. In terms of sheer energy, nothing comes close to 5DMM.

Dan and Denny are self-inserted into the movie, which is about them being self-inserted into a movie. The kind of half-assed improvisation of the JDR series is drawn out to encompass the length of the film here, with our two heroes often literally creating new scenarios to entertain us. The conflicting egos and creative differences of two directors passing a movie back and forth is woven into the narrative (if you could call it that), and often we get scenes of mad invention where Denny enthusiastically creates a scenario for the next section of the film, only to have Dan not cooperate and ruin it for him (the human chess segment is the best example of this idea, and has the cleverest single joke in the film). Imagine if you and another 3DMMer found yourself standing in the middle of a black screen with access to the toolbox and you'll have an idea of how 5DMM plays out. Just as often, Dan and Denny as characters are not in control of the proceedings and have to stay one step ahead of their own demented imaginations.

The movie is at its best when Dan or Denny take initiative and really plow forward with confidence in some silly but brilliant concept. They play off each other brilliantly, for example, when Dan animates a truly fucked up action sequence with an army of ambulances, ending in a spectacular crash. The energy of this segment is fantastic, but where Denny takes it next leads to the funniest sequence in the movie. There's also an inspired documentary segment about the rise and fall of the use of totem pole horses, and a great homage to those "hit an object as far as you possibly can" flash games, with Denny standing in as the object. When Dan takes the reigns, his particular brand of manic kinetic action is in no short supply; the film is full of the sudden impacts, crashes, and deaths we associate with comedy PAMs, but nobody does them to better effect than Martin, who has elevated his action scenes to a speed I would have sworn 3DMM's framerate couldn't support.

5DMM is full of running gags with characters who appear, sing, and are then shot, crushed, or run over, and Dan's character has a way of knocking Denny down a peg by not playing along or not being interested in the ideas he has. Many of the bit characters (read: targets) in the movie are cameos from the community or other 3DMM films, and they tend to have at least one unique character facet (read: quirk) that bewilders Dan and Denny (and us) for a second before they're unceremoniously murdered. Some ideas are interesting but don't really come together. The shootout in front of the bank where nobody has a gun and they all just make gunfire noises is more bizarre than it is funny. The time machine bit has one good joke attached, but otherwise just slows the movie down. And most of what happens before the Ambulance Army segment is noticably subpar in comparison with the rest of what happens. (I did like the Vlarion homage, where the ambulance makes the Zarethio sound effect and Denny says, "Yeah, like we've never heard THAT one before.")

Is there a plot? No, not really, at least no further than "Dan and Denny have (or don't have, as the case may be) adventures". When the main villain appears, there's a good joke about him having to identify himself so we know he's the main villain, and his henchman debate whether or not his late entry into the movie will affect how seriously we take him. He's then thrown out of the film for no real reason, and reintroduced moments later so the final battle can begin. And what a battle! Denny kicks it off with lingering moments of weirdness and half-conceptualized ideas (it took me two viewings to get the "tractor beam" joke), but the fight footage is incredible and probably the best animation work he's ever done. Then Dan takes over for his final segment, appropriately identified as "Final Dan, this is gonna blow your goddamn mind Y'HEAR?" If there's any justice in the community, and if I don't manage to steal it from him, this one sequence has earned Dan the Best Animator crown for 2005. The thing they fight is a CITY. It's a goddamned motherfucking CITY. The ending has a brilliant little twist whether or not you get the reference, and the credits are like JDR Revival's to the fifth power.

There's a bit of a hill-and-valley effect to the movie's pacing. There are patches of dead air, where both the directors and their characters aren't quite sure where to go next, and several ideas in a row die stillborn or end up not leading anywhere. This can come across as part of the "tribute to improvisation" feel to the film, or it can just be a testament to the scatterbrained nature of this concept, depending on how you're feeling about it. I loved it. Save for only a few rough spots, 5DMM is nonstop balls-to-the-wall insanity, Dan and Denny joyously plowing ahead through a whirlwind of half-baked concepts and imaginative potential. There's no depth to it, no story themes, no stylistic sense of irony or meta-movie concepts. It's just the kind of movie you fire up when you want something silly and entertaining to watch. It's a real treat.

Critical Score: 90/100.
Personal Score: 90/100.