TTT2 REVIEW!

Texan Time-Travel 2
Directed by: pokerman of TNT-Films
Starring: Old Rivers, Tom Bown, Metsavana (aka Dašarath), Plopilpy, Pokerman and DoogLord.


Ok, i know i don't do this type of review anymore, but for the greatness of the movie, i'll add an exception...


So, what do you feel about the word 'Violence'?

DOOM, Duke Nukem 3D, Wolfenstein 3D, Worms, GTA, Tom & Jerry,
Ren & Stimpy, Will Maltby's movies... the Columbine High School ma-

Then you leave all of these aside and you get Texan-Time Travel 2
(a sequal to the 'critically-acclaimed' movie: Texan-Time Travel)

if you had not watched the first movie yet, then your a bloody faggot, so watch
the first movie, then come back and see me, but enough said, let's get into the
real meat of things (sorry to all the Muslim, Jewish, Vegan and Vegetarian people for
saying 'meat', i know you think Pigs are a terrible pieces of shit but deal with it)


so the movie starts off with a strange faceless character talking about some
kind of 'honey machinery', seeing so many 'knobs' (a British slang
for Penis), and telling a some guy named Charlie to push a button, and we
flash into a gun shop and we see Owen purchasing a lancaster repeater, and
he shoots a window and shit breaks loose, we see Oden escaping from a
building and kicks Bongo right in the balls, and they try to get the hell outta
here by travelling on hoverboards (ey, Back to the Future anyone?), but that
success would later interfere while more Robot Police and Baddies come after
them, but the hoverboards stop when the sky turns into a darker blue and
there eventually stopped by the future police or whatever the fuck they are,
and minutes later... THEY ESCAPE INTO THE FUTURE!!!!

...then they have a walk around the futuristic city of '2000', when they stop
around a little shop named 'Random Antiques', where they meet Fletcher
from the first film (what the fu- i though he was a news reporter in the first
film, why the crap is he working in a shop, oh well, geuss i'll never know),
and a few minutes later, they talk about a facility they need to head to, because
there is a time machine that will take 'em back home, so they dress in
different clothes and enter the lobby, where the crazy shit happens, Owen
and Oden shoot the security guards with all the epic shit, then the Matrix-esque
effects come into play and man, holy shit, pokerman, you may have some
unfinished movies with some awesome effects, but this movie, oh no, you did
not bother to abandoned it, you did the right thing, MAKING A FINISHED FILM
WITH BADASS EFFECTS BETTER THEN EVER!, and when they killed all of the
security guards, they head to the elevator and kinda pretend that nothing
happened as they take off there cool clothes, when they get off the elevator,
it seems that its Billy's turn on the lift, and they travel to a drain where it's
filled with green goop that would kill them, but it did not kill 'em, then we
see the main villian, the 'Emperor' with his robot talking about the
assassination for '2 particular cowboys' (that being Owen and Oden), and i'm
not sure if it's just me, but the emperor's voice sounds something that was
done in Text-to-Speech, but anyway, the epic shit strikes again with Owen
shooting someone which revealed to be Patrick, but the robot comes out
and starts shooting towards our 2 main heroes, but the robots success comes
into fail as Owen and Oden fight against him, but suddenly, the robot tackles
Owen with somekind of poisoned dart that will slowly kill him in a matter of
3 minutes, then he wakes up back in the wild west with Oden, and the next
scene becomes a goddamn war with somesort of Dragon Ball Z music playing
in the background, then the 2 heroes travel to the roman ages with a bunch
Ramu's slinging a rock towards another Patrick, Oden kills the Ramu's, and
our 2 main heroes travel to somekind of office where they the robot, and
then Owen tries to kill the robot, but instead, the robot directs to the pipes
and the building explodes one by one into smithereens and Owen says
goodbye to Oden and Owen is now history... then the building is destroyed...



then we go back to the wild west again with Oden, the 'Emperor' and
the robot being the surviving ones, and then... Oden kills the 'Emperor'
and the robot, and the movie... ends! on such a sad ending!


...don't worry everyone, i'm ok! i did not actually cry!


*whew*, what a brilliant movie!!! my god!! the effects were amazing,
the sound... well, some of it was compressed and some of it was in GSM
6.10, making the sounds in high quality, but oh wow, that movie was
fucking awesome, i really appreciate it! thanks dude, rock on!

but that's not all, there are extras, with a little movie that became the first
Texan Time-Travel, a unfinished credit sequance, a unfinished scene from the
first movie, some of DoogLord's lines that are not used in the finished product
(but they were used in a unfinished cut of the movie that Pizza leaked back in April,
which can be downloaded here), along with some bloopers, one clip being of Bown
getting angry about a ice cream and one clip being of DoogLord's true fate
on why he was recast... by commiting suiside! (but i think the actual reason
why Doog was recast, was basically because the quality on his microphone
really sucks in my opinion in 3dmm, but i think it was the GSM's fault).

so yeah, that is all i gotta say about this! so goodbye, adios, sleep tight, farewell!
* pulls out a gun and kills himself *







Critical Score: 99/100
Personal Score: 100/100

[PizzaLuigi]

I feel like you wrote this as you were watching it for the first time.

[GeraldSeven]

ZYS