ITT we write a screenplay together [NSFW]

Flounder · 03-13-2011, 05:10 PM

BLADE 4: THE RECKONING Y'ALL

written by: Flounder and 3dmm.com

Ext: Blade stands atop a building in modern day New York city looking totally black, totally badass, totally fucking goon, wielding a sword like he's probably about to kill shit

VO: Sixteen long years i've been on mah hussle. Smokin' blunts, findin' God and keepin' these streets safe from bloodsuckas with mah gay lil' moustache...but is it enough?

(take it away)

Trooper · 03-13-2011, 05:22 PM

Still standing on a building looking totally badass

Blade (aloud): Woah! Aw shit!

Dave Miles · 03-13-2011, 06:38 PM

Blade walks over to the fridge, he grabs a beer and opens it with one of his nipples.

You ain't shit

some mother fuckas alwayz tryin' to ice-skate up hill

Bobby Swisha · 03-13-2011, 07:53 PM

"I saw what you did to that tigerman... I love a man who can tame a tigerman."

"..."

Scatterbrain · 03-13-2011, 08:35 PM

* credits *

Dave Miles · 03-13-2011, 10:28 PM

* ...intro credits *

Scatterbrain · 03-13-2011, 10:29 PM

pff...i guess

Trooper · 03-13-2011, 10:31 PM

Dave Miles · 03-13-2011, 10:38 PM

Blade walks out of a hotel room and stops to catch the lift, he squeezes his penis once before riding the elevator down to the lobby.

* elevator door opens, Blade steps out *

"get a whiff of this, bitches. this is what a man smells like.

* Blade slowly walks through the lobby towards the exit *

excuse me sir, Mr. Blade, is it? it appears that your credit card is not valid, unfortunately we will have to-

Bobby Swisha · 03-14-2011, 12:36 AM

"it appears your HEAD isn't valid."

"WHOA!!! You can't fuckin' do that in here!! nigga, is you crazy??!"

Flounder · 03-14-2011, 12:42 AM

int: Blade walks into his Blade headquarters to find Whistler

Whistlaaa

Shut the fuck up kid. Look, i've been slayin' vamps since you were playin' with GI Joes and fartin' in the bathtub, now these vamps are HUNGRY, kid. Hungier'n a mean ol' bulldog haunched down in front of a country breakfast with biscuits n'gravy, eggies, bacon, grits, the works goddammit. You understand?

...

All that wacky bullshit that just came out m'mouth went and got me horny, you wanna jack eachother off call it somethin' else?

Compcat · 03-14-2011, 02:56 AM

Suddenly there's a knock at the door of the Blade headquarter!

Mr. Snipes? Oh, I'm sorry, looking at this sheet now it seems you have changed your name to "Blade." Either way, according to my paperwork, it appears that you've been evading your federal income taxes. These three bills you sent to the IRS in the amounts of $1,000,000 on November 30, 2000, $12,000,000 on January 18, 2001, and $1,000,000 on September 10, 2002 turned out to be fradulent under 18 U.S.C. § 287 and 18 U.S.C. § 2. Because of this I will need to have you-

Dave Miles · 03-14-2011, 03:16 AM

meanwhile...back inside blade headquarters

Whistler...listen bro...I may be half vampire...but I ain't half faggot.

* a single tear rolls down face *
I promise you this, Blade... this will be the last tear I ever shed for you.

so long... then. I guess.

yeah, later. I guess.

Bobby Swisha · 03-14-2011, 10:14 AM

After the sex...

"Well shit, that wasn't too bad!"

Compcat · 03-14-2011, 07:56 PM

Blade, I'm afraid you now have AIDS. From slam-dunking your dick.

Bobby Swisha · 03-14-2011, 08:48 PM

* pew pew pew *

"If I have AIDS, how come you're the one that's dying, doc?"

Bobby Swisha · 03-14-2011, 08:49 PM

Trooper · 03-14-2011, 10:51 PM

You, sir, are under arrest for the murder of Doctor John Badwey. You' going away for a long time, nigger.

Oh snap. Wrong house...

Happyjuice · 03-15-2011, 02:39 AM

Bobby Swisha · 03-15-2011, 03:55 AM

...

Compcat · 03-15-2011, 04:16 AM

Air Rick · 03-15-2011, 04:35 AM

A'RIGHT WHICH ONE YOU MUTHAFUCKERS TOUCHED MY SWORD???

Nick The Almighty · 03-15-2011, 05:07 AM

this thread had me howling with laughter

Crazy Ivan · 03-15-2011, 05:35 AM

I would see this movie at least 3 times in theaters.

Allergic 2 Life · 03-15-2011, 06:03 AM

very nice!

03-13-2011, 05:10 PM	#1
Flounder Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 6,510	ITT we write a screenplay together [NSFW] BLADE 4: THE RECKONING Y'ALL written by: Flounder and 3dmm.com Ext: Blade stands atop a building in modern day New York city looking totally black, totally badass, totally fucking goon, wielding a sword like he's probably about to kill shit VO: Sixteen long years i've been on mah hussle. Smokin' blunts, findin' God and keepin' these streets safe from bloodsuckas with mah gay lil' moustache...but is it enough? (take it away)
Flounder Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 6,510

03-13-2011, 05:22 PM	#2
Trooper Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,441	Still standing on a building looking totally badass Blade (aloud): Woah! Aw shit!
Trooper Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,441

03-13-2011, 10:31 PM	#8
Trooper Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,441
Trooper Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,441

03-14-2011, 12:42 AM	#11
Flounder Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 6,510	int: Blade walks into his Blade headquarters to find Whistler Whistlaaa Shut the fuck up kid. Look, i've been slayin' vamps since you were playin' with GI Joes and fartin' in the bathtub, now these vamps are HUNGRY, kid. Hungier'n a mean ol' bulldog haunched down in front of a country breakfast with biscuits n'gravy, eggies, bacon, grits, the works goddammit. You understand? ... All that wacky bullshit that just came out m'mouth went and got me horny, you wanna jack eachother off call it somethin' else?
Flounder Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 6,510

03-14-2011, 02:56 AM	#12
Compcat Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 8,810	Suddenly there's a knock at the door of the Blade headquarter! Mr. Snipes? Oh, I'm sorry, looking at this sheet now it seems you have changed your name to "Blade." Either way, according to my paperwork, it appears that you've been evading your federal income taxes. These three bills you sent to the IRS in the amounts of $1,000,000 on November 30, 2000, $12,000,000 on January 18, 2001, and $1,000,000 on September 10, 2002 turned out to be fradulent under 18 U.S.C. § 287 and 18 U.S.C. § 2. Because of this I will need to have you-
Compcat Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 8,810

03-13-2011, 06:38 PM	#3
Dave Miles Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,236	Blade walks over to the fridge, he grabs a beer and opens it with one of his nipples. You ain't shit some mother fuckas alwayz tryin' to ice-skate up hill

03-13-2011, 07:53 PM	#4
Bobby Swisha Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 46,012	"I saw what you did to that tigerman... I love a man who can tame a tigerman." "..."

03-13-2011, 08:35 PM	#5
Scatterbrain Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 8,564	* credits *

03-13-2011, 10:28 PM	#6
Dave Miles Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,236	* ...intro credits *

03-13-2011, 10:29 PM	#7
Scatterbrain Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 8,564	pff...i guess

03-13-2011, 10:38 PM	#9
Dave Miles Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,236	Blade walks out of a hotel room and stops to catch the lift, he squeezes his penis once before riding the elevator down to the lobby. * elevator door opens, Blade steps out * "get a whiff of this, bitches. this is what a man smells like. * Blade slowly walks through the lobby towards the exit * excuse me sir, Mr. Blade, is it? it appears that your credit card is not valid, unfortunately we will have to-

03-14-2011, 12:36 AM	#10
Bobby Swisha Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 46,012	"it appears your HEAD isn't valid." "WHOA!!! You can't fuckin' do that in here!! nigga, is you crazy??!"

03-14-2011, 03:16 AM	#13
Dave Miles Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,236	meanwhile...back inside blade headquarters Whistler...listen bro...I may be half vampire...but I ain't half faggot. * a single tear rolls down face * I promise you this, Blade... this will be the last tear I ever shed for you. so long... then. I guess. yeah, later. I guess.

03-14-2011, 10:14 AM	#14
Bobby Swisha Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 46,012	After the sex... "Well shit, that wasn't too bad!"

03-14-2011, 07:56 PM	#15
Compcat Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 8,810	Blade, I'm afraid you now have AIDS. From slam-dunking your dick.
Compcat Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 8,810

03-14-2011, 08:48 PM	#16
Bobby Swisha Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 46,012	* pew pew pew * "If I have AIDS, how come you're the one that's dying, doc?"

03-14-2011, 08:49 PM	#17
Bobby Swisha Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 46,012

03-14-2011, 10:51 PM	#18
Trooper Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,441	You, sir, are under arrest for the murder of Doctor John Badwey. You' going away for a long time, nigger. Oh snap. Wrong house...
Trooper Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,441

03-15-2011, 02:39 AM	#19
Happyjuice Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 11,573	-

03-15-2011, 03:55 AM	#20
Bobby Swisha Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 46,012	...

03-15-2011, 04:16 AM	#21
Compcat Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 8,810
Compcat Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 8,810

03-15-2011, 04:35 AM	#22
Air Rick Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 6,733	A'RIGHT WHICH ONE YOU MUTHAFUCKERS TOUCHED MY SWORD???
Air Rick Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 6,733

03-15-2011, 05:07 AM	#23
Nick The Almighty Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,909	this thread had me howling with laughter

03-15-2011, 05:35 AM	#24
Crazy Ivan Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 9,462	I would see this movie at least 3 times in theaters.

03-15-2011, 06:03 AM	#25
Allergic 2 Life Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 11,459	very nice!