Places in the United States that are solid for RAMBLING.

Flounder · 05-16-2008, 08:25 AM

RAMBLING

1.) To go or to leave quickly

2.) to move on

You know what's up. You're out of town on some BUSINESS (freak business) and you're looking for a little no strings attached? A little taste of the devil's candy? That's right, RAMBLING. You meet a tasty little hottie on FRIDAY MORNING and you're trying to hit it and get the fuck outta there by FRIDAY MORNING you know what i'm sayin? You are RAMBLING and this thread is specifically for rambling stories, tips and advice on rambling and the BEST locations in the Unites States for rambling.

Where have I had my share of rambling? I'll tell you. Tallahassee. I call that shit TallaNASTY, the rambling is so fucking sick. 100% chance of getting laid 100% hassle free and you're dipping the out of there by sunrise. "Thanks for the SEX, fatass. BYE."

Crazy Ivan · 05-16-2008, 03:01 PM

Dilworth, Minnesota. What's a Dilworth? Fucked if I know, but lemme tell what, you know what my Dick is worth there? Fuckin solid gold, baby. Met a chick there named Nancy, hot little number, knew how the moves and when to use 'em, showed me a good time, I showed her the door, ifyaknowwhatI'msayin. Now I'm a rambler, through and through, but damn if I didn't consider stayin' in THAT little town just one more night, 'yknow? Makes a rambler question himself, times like that. Trouble is, rambling? It's my fuckin blood.

Jason Ruiz · 05-17-2008, 01:18 AM

EARLIMART, CA.
Went there, had to stop for a SODA. Went into the EARLIMART CONVENIENCE STORE. Walked in there, fucking glanced around, decided I didn't want a soda but a fucking RED BULL. Went up to the counter, red bull in hand. Girl at the counter, pretty cute. Kinda manly. Whatevs. I say, "ILL TAKE THIS RED BULL, CUNT." She goes, "2.25" Realized it was actually a dude. I toss him a five, get my change and walk the fuck out. I'll let YOU imagine what happened next.

Earlimart, bro. Earlimart.

Crazy Ivan · 05-17-2008, 02:01 AM

BRONSON, MO. They call Bronson the Vegas of the bible belt. Well after I got done ramblin' through that sumbitch, they started it calling the SORE ASS with my BELT MARKS ON IT. BIBLE. Believe me now. Ramblin wasn't even part of my intention for going. See, I thought I'd stop in, catch a Paul Anka show. Turns out the motherfucker ain't even there no more. No Paul Anka, you know what that means. MO' FUCKIN TIME TO RAMBLE. Cruised over to see Yakov Smirnoff, cuz you know brother be pullin bitches into his shows, and sho nuff, he didn't fail to deliver. There was one bitch in there, had on a tight little mumu, name was Rebecca. I went up to her, said, "Yo BITCH. What you doin after this show?" She was all like, "Gee, I don't know, my husb-" and slapped that bitch in the mouf cuz I don't wanna hear about no husband. Bitch was all stunned. Probably cuz she just got her ass RAMBLED.

Daniel Debonair · 05-17-2008, 03:55 AM

I RAMBLED me some hairy, insecure man-ass in Intercourse, PA. I had some vacation time from my job at the plastic food factory (for kids, not for restaurants) and I figured I check out Intercourse, cuz my old friend Leaman the Swede had one of those shirts that said he <3'ed the place. Anyway, burnt out on a bad batch of glass and 12 days in, I found myself hiding in some prickly dried up bushes @ the Old Philly Turn Pike, near Meetinghouse rd. I don't know how I got there or what my intention was. All I remember was this white collar gentleman, in his middle age crying with his ass and sack in my mouth. I remember it well. Needless to say, motivated by lack of understanding of what was going on, I had to turn that shit into a RAMBLE. Because I can't even BEGIN to tell you how I feel about bitches that are always crying and shit. And I mean this lil' poindexter was howling. He himself was rambling... bout his wife and kids, and WHAAAT-EVA. I said "look, sonny. Yeer ass was nice and dirty, and for that I won't leave yuh for dead, but this whining shit HAS GOT TO STOP or SOMEONE's gonna tickle your trachea with a butterfly knife." He's lucky I offered him even that. Then a speeding locomotive sped behind me, only three feet from where I lay, and with a raise of my open hand, I was gone.

RAMBLED

Jason Ruiz · 05-17-2008, 04:35 AM

Check it, ya fat ass faggots.

Eugene, OR. 7:53 PM, me and my friends been drinkin and eatin' pussy ALL night. Wait. I went too far, let me back the fuck up. 5:30 PM. I get out of my job at Sizzler, mannin' that buffet 'n shit. I go over to this mother fucker Diego's house. Diego been all in and out'a gangs 'n shit his whole life. He came up to me, went, "LET'S GET FUCKIN DRUNK, BITCH." then I said, "AIGHT, BITCH." This was not a friendly altercation. See, Diego and I had been fighting for the last week. That cunt kicked me while we were tussling for a bag of skittles in the back of my friend's station wagon. Ever since then, we were gonna fight but both of us were really nervous. So we decided we'd get drunk before. Anyway, I go, "AIGHT. WHERE WE GOIN TO DRINK?" He said, "BACK TO SIZZLER. I'M HUNGRY." i was like, "THE FUCK!? I JUST GOT DONE WORKING TWO SHIFTS IN A ROW AND YOURE GONNA FUCKING SEND ME BACK INTO THAT HELLHOLE?" he goes, "YOU RIGHT. LET'S GET SOME PANCAKES INSTEAD."

...

... WE DON'T TALK NO MO'.

BITCH GOT RAMBLED!

Crazy Ivan · 05-17-2008, 04:55 AM

DUCK DUCK GOOSE. DICK DICK, GEORGIA. I don't know the postal code abbreviation for Georgia, but FUCK IT. Aight, so I was on a muffuckin road trip, see. And wouldn't you know, my car breaks down, PIECE OF SHIT. Anyways, I call triple A, cuz a nigga on a road always plans ahead, right? So they tow my ass to DICK DICK GEORGIA. Like, what the fuck, right? I thought they tow truch driver was lyin'. But he straight with me. Mo-fuckin town is straight named Dick Dick. Crazy, right?

So I stay at this Motel 6 in town, knaw? I mean, they had a best western, but this time I stayed at a Best Western and for real saw a cockroach. Shit was nasty, for real. So I decide to crash my head at Motel 6. But you know, it's still early and shit, and nigga I was restless. So I went out.

Turns out Dick Dick only gots but one bar, so I head there proper. Walk in, wouldn't you know, place is full of niggas. Ain't a bitch in sight. YOU TELL ME. HOW A NIGGA S'PPOSED TO RAMBLE WIF NO BITCHES? Shit was fucked. So I played some pool, drank a bud, and went home.

Question is:

AIN'T THERE NO RAMBLIN TO BE HAD IN DICK DICK, NIGGAZ?

Daniel Debonair · 05-17-2008, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Ain't a bitch in sight. YOU TELL ME. HOW A NIGGA S'PPOSED TO RAMBLE WIF NO BITCHES?

I woulda made mince meat of that joint with my magnum gay-rection.
Anyhoooo...

Death Valley, Ca.

So, I'm driving around SoCal (southern California for you ignorant overseas, sorry motherfuckers) And I'm scouting locations for my next big move-a: "Piglet Salazar and the Missing Terracotta Raincoat." Stopped off at a map shoppe where this giggly hillbilly bloke gives me some Latitude Longitude attitude. I plug those var. into my GPS, and wouldn't you know, its the Valley of Death. So I bought from him some melted ass peppermint patties (for hydration) and drove out to the middle of the desert, dig? Now I'm from Phoenix, so I figured "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiit," right? WRONG. That mother was NUTS ASS. That is to say my nuts and ass were were joined by osmosis (FUCK YOU SCIENCE GEEK, I DON'T KNOW SHIT FROM SHIT OR SHIT, SO LAY OFF) ANYWAY, the smell was outrageous and I didn't think ANYBODY would EVER wanna suck it. I didn't even think anybody lived out there. I thought I was gonna die. And then, like an angel from heaven, this Mexican named Angel stepped out of the heat distorted horizon and offered me my life for some RAMBLE.

I GOT RAMBLED

Bravoie · 05-17-2008, 07:54 AM

VENICE, LA.

What the FUCK is in Venice? Nothin' but tricks, hicks, and railroad dicks! But I needed a place to lay my head, so I stopped at a hole there called the Blue Crab Motel. Shit was so outdated, the furniture look like it came straight out of a fuckin' 1950's Sears catalog. But those niggas had free porn, so I thought fuck it, Ill crash and then be out of here on the quick yo. Met this little skank near the pay phone near my room, said she was calling her best friend to get a little cash to stay the night in that piece of shit. I said NAW BITCH, THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY as I unzipped my pants and pulled out my TALLYWHACKER. Bitch got the message instantly and invited her friend anyway for a little stay in my room.

DOUBLE RAMBLE TROUBLE!!!

That slut's old biker man showed up with a shotgun and blows a hole through my door just as I was finishing up on her friend. I knew what was up, and hauled ass through the bathroom window before those bitches could get their clothes on. Ran BARE ASS through town, got to a taxi, and never been back since!

05-16-2008, 08:25 AM	#1
Flounder Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 6,510	Places in the United States that are solid for RAMBLING. RAMBLING 1.) To go or to leave quickly 2.) to move on You know what's up. You're out of town on some BUSINESS (freak business) and you're looking for a little no strings attached? A little taste of the devil's candy? That's right, RAMBLING. You meet a tasty little hottie on FRIDAY MORNING and you're trying to hit it and get the fuck outta there by FRIDAY MORNING you know what i'm sayin? You are RAMBLING and this thread is specifically for rambling stories, tips and advice on rambling and the BEST locations in the Unites States for rambling. Where have I had my share of rambling? I'll tell you. Tallahassee. I call that shit TallaNASTY, the rambling is so fucking sick. 100% chance of getting laid 100% hassle free and you're dipping the out of there by sunrise. "Thanks for the SEX, fatass. BYE."
Flounder Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 6,510

05-17-2008, 03:55 AM	#5
Daniel Debonair Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 988	I RAMBLED me some hairy, insecure man-ass in Intercourse, PA. I had some vacation time from my job at the plastic food factory (for kids, not for restaurants) and I figured I check out Intercourse, cuz my old friend Leaman the Swede had one of those shirts that said he <3'ed the place. Anyway, burnt out on a bad batch of glass and 12 days in, I found myself hiding in some prickly dried up bushes @ the Old Philly Turn Pike, near Meetinghouse rd. I don't know how I got there or what my intention was. All I remember was this white collar gentleman, in his middle age crying with his ass and sack in my mouth. I remember it well. Needless to say, motivated by lack of understanding of what was going on, I had to turn that shit into a RAMBLE. Because I can't even BEGIN to tell you how I feel about bitches that are always crying and shit. And I mean this lil' poindexter was howling. He himself was rambling... bout his wife and kids, and WHAAAT-EVA. I said "look, sonny. Yeer ass was nice and dirty, and for that I won't leave yuh for dead, but this whining shit HAS GOT TO STOP or SOMEONE's gonna tickle your trachea with a butterfly knife." He's lucky I offered him even that. Then a speeding locomotive sped behind me, only three feet from where I lay, and with a raise of my open hand, I was gone. RAMBLED
Daniel Debonair Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 988

05-17-2008, 07:54 AM	#9
Bravoie Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 4,713	VENICE, LA. What the FUCK is in Venice? Nothin' but tricks, hicks, and railroad dicks! But I needed a place to lay my head, so I stopped at a hole there called the Blue Crab Motel. Shit was so outdated, the furniture look like it came straight out of a fuckin' 1950's Sears catalog. But those niggas had free porn, so I thought fuck it, Ill crash and then be out of here on the quick yo. Met this little skank near the pay phone near my room, said she was calling her best friend to get a little cash to stay the night in that piece of shit. I said NAW BITCH, THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY as I unzipped my pants and pulled out my TALLYWHACKER. Bitch got the message instantly and invited her friend anyway for a little stay in my room. DOUBLE RAMBLE TROUBLE!!! That slut's old biker man showed up with a shotgun and blows a hole through my door just as I was finishing up on her friend. I knew what was up, and hauled ass through the bathroom window before those bitches could get their clothes on. Ran BARE ASS through town, got to a taxi, and never been back since!
Bravoie Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 4,713

05-16-2008, 03:01 PM	#2
Crazy Ivan Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 9,462	Dilworth, Minnesota. What's a Dilworth? Fucked if I know, but lemme tell what, you know what my Dick is worth there? Fuckin solid gold, baby. Met a chick there named Nancy, hot little number, knew how the moves and when to use 'em, showed me a good time, I showed her the door, ifyaknowwhatI'msayin. Now I'm a rambler, through and through, but damn if I didn't consider stayin' in THAT little town just one more night, 'yknow? Makes a rambler question himself, times like that. Trouble is, rambling? It's my fuckin blood.

05-17-2008, 01:18 AM	#3
Jason Ruiz Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 12,975	EARLIMART, CA. Went there, had to stop for a SODA. Went into the EARLIMART CONVENIENCE STORE. Walked in there, fucking glanced around, decided I didn't want a soda but a fucking RED BULL. Went up to the counter, red bull in hand. Girl at the counter, pretty cute. Kinda manly. Whatevs. I say, "ILL TAKE THIS RED BULL, CUNT." She goes, "2.25" Realized it was actually a dude. I toss him a five, get my change and walk the fuck out. I'll let YOU imagine what happened next. Earlimart, bro. Earlimart.

05-17-2008, 02:01 AM	#4
Crazy Ivan Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 9,462	BRONSON, MO. They call Bronson the Vegas of the bible belt. Well after I got done ramblin' through that sumbitch, they started it calling the SORE ASS with my BELT MARKS ON IT. BIBLE. Believe me now. Ramblin wasn't even part of my intention for going. See, I thought I'd stop in, catch a Paul Anka show. Turns out the motherfucker ain't even there no more. No Paul Anka, you know what that means. MO' FUCKIN TIME TO RAMBLE. Cruised over to see Yakov Smirnoff, cuz you know brother be pullin bitches into his shows, and sho nuff, he didn't fail to deliver. There was one bitch in there, had on a tight little mumu, name was Rebecca. I went up to her, said, "Yo BITCH. What you doin after this show?" She was all like, "Gee, I don't know, my husb-" and slapped that bitch in the mouf cuz I don't wanna hear about no husband. Bitch was all stunned. Probably cuz she just got her ass RAMBLED.

05-17-2008, 04:35 AM	#6
Jason Ruiz Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 12,975	Check it, ya fat ass faggots. Eugene, OR. 7:53 PM, me and my friends been drinkin and eatin' pussy ALL night. Wait. I went too far, let me back the fuck up. 5:30 PM. I get out of my job at Sizzler, mannin' that buffet 'n shit. I go over to this mother fucker Diego's house. Diego been all in and out'a gangs 'n shit his whole life. He came up to me, went, "LET'S GET FUCKIN DRUNK, BITCH." then I said, "AIGHT, BITCH." This was not a friendly altercation. See, Diego and I had been fighting for the last week. That cunt kicked me while we were tussling for a bag of skittles in the back of my friend's station wagon. Ever since then, we were gonna fight but both of us were really nervous. So we decided we'd get drunk before. Anyway, I go, "AIGHT. WHERE WE GOIN TO DRINK?" He said, "BACK TO SIZZLER. I'M HUNGRY." i was like, "THE FUCK!? I JUST GOT DONE WORKING TWO SHIFTS IN A ROW AND YOURE GONNA FUCKING SEND ME BACK INTO THAT HELLHOLE?" he goes, "YOU RIGHT. LET'S GET SOME PANCAKES INSTEAD." ... ... WE DON'T TALK NO MO'. BITCH GOT RAMBLED!

05-17-2008, 04:55 AM	#7
Crazy Ivan Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 9,462	DUCK DUCK GOOSE. DICK DICK, GEORGIA. I don't know the postal code abbreviation for Georgia, but FUCK IT. Aight, so I was on a muffuckin road trip, see. And wouldn't you know, my car breaks down, PIECE OF SHIT. Anyways, I call triple A, cuz a nigga on a road always plans ahead, right? So they tow my ass to DICK DICK GEORGIA. Like, what the fuck, right? I thought they tow truch driver was lyin'. But he straight with me. Mo-fuckin town is straight named Dick Dick. Crazy, right? So I stay at this Motel 6 in town, knaw? I mean, they had a best western, but this time I stayed at a Best Western and for real saw a cockroach. Shit was nasty, for real. So I decide to crash my head at Motel 6. But you know, it's still early and shit, and nigga I was restless. So I went out. Turns out Dick Dick only gots but one bar, so I head there proper. Walk in, wouldn't you know, place is full of niggas. Ain't a bitch in sight. YOU TELL ME. HOW A NIGGA S'PPOSED TO RAMBLE WIF NO BITCHES? Shit was fucked. So I played some pool, drank a bud, and went home. Question is: AIN'T THERE NO RAMBLIN TO BE HAD IN DICK DICK, NIGGAZ?