"Return, and recieve unlimited crack cocaine power!"

This review has spoilers, so if you intend on watching the movie, do so first.

MAN, oh man, oh man! This is another one of those movies that came and went without many people recognizing it. It's not every day where we get something like this; a movie that resembles a throwback to that gritty, absurd, and tasteless humor that this community was known for in the beginning. BuzzerLinting made a rather impressive debut film, and I believe it should get the recognition it truly deserves. I have made my comments about it upon its release, but I only saw its potential later on, and realized it was more enjoyable when I re-watched it. After going back into this with a fresher opinion, I've decided to give it a proper review to raise awareness for this anomaly of a movie.

Plot: Every PAM starts with a simple plot, and Black John Wick continues the trend. Bad guys have drugs, Black John Wick wants drugs, Black John Wick kills mooks to get drugs, Black John Wick succeeds in acclaiming drugs. As simple as it may seem, the movie's approach about handling this, is over-the-top, with its depiction of violence, and offensive humor, to the point of it being downright unnecessary. However, the movie blatantly denies its own definition of logic, and embraces its own brand of chaos comfortably. It's like a barbarian accepting that he is in fact a barbarian, and decides to take a shit in his dining room. The twist at the end was bizarre, but it works perfectly with the rest of the movie's deviant behavior.
5/10: An inch of a plot that disturbingly takes a mile with itself.

Animation: Reportedly, this was BuzzerLinting's first 3dmm film. If that is the case, and that he isn't counting test movies he may have tinkered with to learn the program, then this man knew how to swan dive before going to the swim team tryouts. Yes, it is true that the animation is choppy, and raw. The movie would need a gallon of polish, but this achievement proves he has the competency, and the patience, to accomplish the craft in custom movement. This is evident by the small things, like the gore on the minion's faces, and the slow turning of the characters looking around, but it also expands to the more complicated bits, like when the truck runs over the old man, and the truck spins out of control and explodes, and the well made Grandpa Found The Car Keys reference. The default and custom scenery jumping around made it difficult to follow what's happening at times, but it made up for the characters being animated quite impressively.
6/10: The potential for greatness is obvious, and if the polish was taken just as seriously, it can get to high tier levels of great.

Pacing/Delivery: This movie is fucking insane. It does whatever it wants, whenever it wants, and if you don't like it, fuck off! The movies approach to simple plot was "set the stage, get that out of way, and focus on trying to make as little sense as possible while doing it. Now that we set the stage, make even less sense". I love it. The movie is only dead set on trying to be as entertaining as possible, and will pull anything out of its ass to achieve that goal (literally). The movie suffers with its own blessing, since it proves too quickly that nothing is off the table, and nothing becomes surprising as the film progresses, like it blows it load while it still tries to thrust. The ending however, brings the movie back a bit, and the whole thing intentionally falls apart in a blaze of glory as it introduces a new set of unnecessary chaos.
6/10: The movie kept playing when it already showed its greatest tricks. Fortunately, it recognizes this fact, and respectively turns the story on its head before your very eyes to keep you entertained.

Sound: The audio in this movie was baffling, and is the weakest link for this movie's structure. It seems that the chaos the music and sound did not emulate with the rest of the movie's. The plot, and its animation, felt like a symphony of chaos, where the movie wanted something, and the animation knew exactly what to do to get the most glorious disaster possible. The movie's audio tried to catch up, but aside from the simple enough gunshots and blood splatters, it trails behind to capture the energy the scene portrays with its out of place music choices, lackluster dialogue, and occasionally overlapping sounds. Once again, it brings itself back together once the whole movie is turned upside down, and the dialogue becomes the crowning piece of the movie.
3/10: If only the audio had the same persistent brutality that the animation and story represented.

Honorable mentions:

Everything about the scene where Black John Wick shoves the whole shotgun up his ass, produces pistol clips, and the way he exclaims "YES". Kills me everytime. It's so stupid, but this scene basically sums up the entire movie's energy.
When Black John Wick dives under the truck, and the old man gets run over, then the truck flips over, and explodes.
The whole goddess of crack cocaine scene. I find myself quoting this repeatedly. The comedic timing of it is incredible.

Conclusion: This movie has its faults, but it evidently has a lot of attention put into it, and it surprisingly delivers. A tarnished, dirty, and ugly looking gem, is still a gem. Black John Wick is a faint nod to the movies of the olden days, and fits right in with the classics from yesteryear. It is pure, simple, kickass, offensive fun. Whether if we should follow in this movie's example or not, we can definitely take one thing from it; Even a movie without the experience, the talent, and the complexity of a top tier movie can still be enjoyable to watch if even an ounce of care, and attention is put into making the product in the first place.

Overall score: 55/100