"What the hell did I just saw? A Japanese girl in a boat form with an Indian Man?"

This review has spoilers, so if you intend on watching the movie, do so first.

Whether if we all like it or not, these new group of kids are the next generation of 3dmm. Among them, we have what I consider as "the unholy trinity". Three of these newbies that arguably do nothing but spam poorly created, and effortless movies. Tonight, I made the decision on giving the benefit of the doubt for one of the more controversial of the three, Thomas Saunders. His more recent movie, Purpleelastic, certainly caught my attention with its half hour run-time, and with a duration of that length, SOMETHING had to be good from it right? I wanted to give Saunders a chance, and he claims to have put a lot of time into this. So I went into the film, leaving all my bias at the door, took a deep breath, and I (forcefully) hit the play button.

Plot: I am not gonna lie...I don't really know for certain. The story is everywhere, and not at all told coherently. The times that it is coherent, are too coherent. The voice acting was..."""OKAY??""", but the mic's quality was abysmal. It reminds me of myself, and how terrible my ability to use a mic was in the beginning. Keep your mouth away from the mic, for gods sake! Anyways, the reason why I bring this point up is that the voice's quality made it so hard to hear what the characters were saying, like at all times (I didn't even know the protagonist's name was until 2/3'rd of the way through the movie (fuck, I didn't even know WHO the protagonist was at all until 2/3rd of the way through the movie)). After trying to decode most of the rambling, and picking things up from the visual context clues, this is what I gathered:
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It begins as the protagonist's parents, Minato Towns, and Erika Citie (choice names BTW) met when Minato found Erika lost in a back alleyway, lost from her home country. After helping her, they eventually fell in love, and got married. They would eventually have a child, and would give birth to their daughter, Arisa (which caused a police chase scene for some reason?), all while the default movies "Mummy", and "Rover" are awkwardly shoehorned into the movie. It then shows Arisa growing up, and going to school.
Here is where things get confusing. Meanwhile, there was this other delinquent kid (who I believe is named sally) who got bad grades, and got in trouble often, had an entire portion of the movie dedicated to her for some reason (I legit thought this was Arisa for a while). Then at some point, Arisa wakes up with elastic powers, and she doesn't know how to control them. After losing to the delinquent kid in a footrace, she snaps, and throws the kid through a brick wall. The consequences of her actions results in her life falling apart, and she eventually runs from home to embrace her superpowers.
Now here is where things get REALLY fucking confusing. While traveling as a boat, she meets a boy named Jane, and they fall in love with each other. They frequently run from the police... for, kissing in public...I guess?...And then it is revealed they had a kid, and they had a dance number?... Fucking, hold on a second. * checks movie again *
Okay, after trying to find the plot again, at some point Jane gets thrown in jail after he failed to escape the police (despite depicting in the scene prior, he clearly got away from the police, but whatever), leaving Arisa to mourn. Eventually, the parents find Arisa, and tries to take her home to Japan against her will. As a result, Minato interrogates Jane, but Jane escapes, and (after a sequence where the storyteller goes full apeshit for no reason) reunites with Arisa. However, Minato intervenes, and after drinking the Vlarion vial to become Hirolix--* clears throat *...I mean after eating the slimy elastic to become the elastic slime monster, he confronts his own daughter for a final fight. Arisa comes out on top, and now as the heroes finally reunite, they return to their daughter, announcing their marriage, and finally having their first kiss, despite kissing several times prior, and having a kid for real (I did the math on this BTW, because I was really confused on how that worked. Arisa was 16 when she ran away, and the kid wasn't introduced until Arisa was 26 in the year 1998, which means the kid must be at the very least 10 years old, which that checks out, I guess).
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Yeah...Sorry that wound up taking up the majority of this review, but honestly, I had to piece it together for myself. I truly had no clue what was happening. Feel free to correct me if I missed something, because I will confess that I missed an awful lot.
2/10: Extremely poor delivery, not even engaging if it was told properly.

Animation: From the beginning, I had hope for this. This screenshot looked decent, and that opening sequence was actually okay. Some of the handmade scenes were well done, such as the school scenes, the couple shots of the Italian River, and the jail cell I guess, but now I am grasping for straws at this point. Some of the characters movements were done well, and some of the trick shots in Arisa's elastic form was decent. However, the animation truly shows that his efforts are minimal at best, and come from a place of necessity, rather then a place of ardency. A lot of the neutral stance elastic animations are effortless truly, and most of the custom scenes would take 5 minutes to make, which would have been excusable if they were at least panning, but every single shot in this movie is static, save for the first opening shot. That's it. Finally, the first 5 minutes or so is just a couple default movies with his plot awkwardly crawling into the scene. Why were these even in the movie? These scenes were literally meaningless. Finally, the cuts from custom scenery to default was sometimes so bad, it would have been worth it to just do the default scenery. Which brings me to...
3/10: Lazy at best.

Pacing: Truly, this is what strangled this movie. It was god-awful slow in many of the scenes. Some scenes took FOREVER to finish. Watching the class scene was a chore if anything, and the storyteller scenes were abysmal to watch, even if I could understand a single word he said, and this movie had a ton of that classic "run fast from one side of the screen to the other" clique. Some scenes had very strange cuts that makes it seem like something entirely different is happening, when in reality, it is the same shit continuing from the last scene (scene 61-62 comes to mind). Some of the scenes that had something interesting going on went way too fast (the police chase scene in the beginning for instance). The way this movie never moved at a steady pace is what caused me to miss a lot of the movie. I blank out for one second because the scene is going nowhere, then all of a sudden, shit happens unjustifiably! It makes everything a sloppy mess, and borderline unwatchable.
1/10: Learn how to blend scenes together. Seriously.

Sound/music: I already addressed the mic issue, that was the metaphorical lead pipe to the back of the head for this movie, but on top of that, all the horrible MIDI music, and background noise playing on top of it all made it even harder to hear what was being said. I actually had to dissect a lot of the MIDI from this movie, just to even hear some dialogue I missed (this got me to found the delinquents name). The random fart noises in between the elastic noise made it really hard to take Arisa's downfall scene seriously, or take any scene seriously for that matter. At best, some sound choices was interesting enough that I got a smirk from a few of them (like the tree falling in scene 68, and the principal roaring like a monster).
3/10: Would have been the movies shining piece if the mic wasn't so awful.

PERSONAL GEMS:

Decent mountain sweep pan in the very beginning.
The mic clipping horribly as the dude yelling "GO!" in scene 42 killed me. The music choice for that moment also sold it.
The Cop's ginormous gun in scene 68.
Scene 69: Frame 522-537. Just. everything about it.
The whole final battle scene was oddly entertaining.
Charlie Blackman made me lhh.

Conclusion: I went into this with optimism, I truly did, but to me, it seems that Thomas Saunders wanted to make a movie, but didn't want to put in an ounce of effort to make the movie. I guess that just about sums things up nowadays around here, doesn't it? Same as always, nothing new, except it was just a half-hour of it. From the way it looked in some parts, you can feel like there was SOME love put into it. Just a little bit. And once it was there, you can tell he threw up his hands, went "ah screw it, this is hard", and just made a scene where the characters ran for 2 minutes straight. I could have ignored the bad plot if the animation had thought put into it. I could have ignored the bad animation if it at least sounded good. I could have at least ignored the shitty noise if I didn't have to hear it for a half-hour. I struggled to find an ounce of enjoyment, and the scraps of entertainment I begged for did not justify the run time. Thomas, it was clear that you were pulling inspiration from other movies on the board, and that is great. You were clearly way too ambitious, and you flew way too close to the sun. Give me another movie like this, but: keep your mouth away from the mic to prevent spiking. Stop playing MIDI music, and switch to wav. sound files. Put in effort in every scene, if it has to be static, make it worth looking at. Keep it under 10 minutes at least, recognize when some scenes drag on for way too long. If you did all that, then purpleelastic would have been a decent flick. You still have a long way to go, and you are definitely not there yet. Keep trying, or should I say, START trying.

Overall score: 25/100

[Dustin Guest]

I love that you gave this thing an honest, legit review. I will give him props for at least trying to do something NEW and not just remake something he saw on youtube. You know, aside from shoehorning in default movies to tack on runtime.

[Phil Williamson]

hahaha I find it hilarious that you wrote this, especially after checking out a little of the movie. it's like looking at those paintings by Koko the Gorilla and saying "hmm, hmm, no no...VERY poor use of form, highly questionable linework..."

there was one great moment, when a kid "makes a paper airplane" in school by just transforming a piece of paper into the default 3dmm plane, which then flies into the teacher and knocks her down. great job on that Thomas!

[Jt Copper]

Hahah, right I forgot about that part, that was pretty good too.