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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 10,220
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Nightmare Journal of Michael Ronto
this is a short story i wrote for one of my university courses during my second year, it has since been graded so this is the final version that i submitted. this is actually based on the very first 3dmm movie I ever released here in 2004, Deputy. the idea has survived and been rebooted with a more grounded, realism based sort of approach. this story specifically is about his origin, the psychological sort of effects a physical transformation into a superhuman can have on a man, which is obviously an alteration of the silly movie i made nine years ago. i've never really posted anything in here before so i figured i should.
any feedback would be cool if you take the time to read it. I have a few other stories (some short stories, some scripts) taking place in the same continuity of this story i could also post should anyone here enjoy my writing. happy reading 
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March 12th
It was at a party I attended a couple of weeks ago that this whole nightmare I'm in began, the worst part though is that I still don't know how. I don't know what happened that night; the only images I see in my head are that of a dream. There's the problem, the dreams haven't stopped and every night I have slept I have had the same horrible dream. My name is Michael Ronto and I am writing this journal to document this issue, I feel completely vulnerable, I'm afraid to leave my flat and I hope as I write this progressively, I can possibly figure out the solution to my problem.
As I said, this all started at the party. It was thrown by Philips mate Sam; he lives fairly close to Hampstead Heath. I arrived on my own; I was meeting Phil there in an hour or so. That's where the night seemed to end, I have no other memory of what occurred after leaving the party, one minute I'm catching up with old friends, the next I'm waking up from the worst nightmare I have ever had, alone in the middle of a field. I asked people who saw me that night and apparently I wasn't drinking anything while I was there, I did get a few mentions though that I was acting kind of odd, like I needed to be somewhere. Wouldn't normally surprise me as I'm not the most socially comfortable guy but when they say it that way something just doesn't feel right. So there I was the following morning, lying in a field, splitting headache, clothes torn and a fucking SCAR running up diagonally along my torso. I have no idea how I got it, it's huge! It doesn't hurt at all and yet it's like thirty centimeters long. I hadn't discovered it though until after I made my way home. Before that though I found Phil, well technically he found me. He was asking where the hell I had been all night, so apparently I never met him. I couldn't answer a single question he had for me, 'what happened?', 'what did you do?’ all I could give him was 'I don't know'. All I wanted was to go home, I felt completely vulnerable, like the sky was falling. There are a few possible explanations but something seriously doesn't add up, either Phil’s been fucking with me and having a laugh or I'm going crazy. The scar is definitely genuine, no one stuck some weird putty on my torso while I was passed out or anything, something or someone did this to me...or maybe I did it myself?? It’s bad enough I've got all this crap messing with my head while I'm awake, when I sleep I have pretty much the same nightmare. If I have the same dream tonight (and so far its track record has not been a letdown), I will document what I remember from it tomorrow morning when I get up.
March 13th
It's about half past four in the morning; I had the nightmare again and am writing it here and now while it's still on my mind. The first thing I'll say is something I won't easily forget, the fucking EYES. Chronologically they weren't the first thing I remember, I'll get to that later. The first thing I remembered was being alone in the darkness and seeing a bright light, which expanded in size and elegantly surrounded me. Suddenly there was a realisation that provoked a transition of vibe, I'm somewhere else. It feels like sleep paralysis, I can't move, I'm completely exposed. This place I go to every night, it's like a prison or something, as if I'm being held against my will. My surroundings look pretty metallic, very dark but enough to give a slight reflective shine to the little light I see. All around me, relentlessly staring are multiple pairs of eyes, they're horrible but there's always been one pair in this dream that stand out, the big, yellow, lizard like eyes, so bright the metallic walls reflect their sinister shine. The stare from them pierces you like you've been hit with the worst feeling of pure anxiety, my systems seem to just shut down, it feels like he's looking into my soul and filling it with pure dread. Only thing that stands out in all this, which makes me know how this is not a case of actual sleep paralysis; I can still scream, I can still flex in fear and anger. My emotions make such a transition of fear into rage, fight or flight kicks in and I want to attack those horrible yellow eyes, to erase them from my memories forever, before it hurts anyone else. The outcome of the dream differs a little each night, I didn't get too far tonight though, I awoke upon the sudden feeling of breaking free from that hypnotic stare with every ounce of strength in my body and soul. The feeling that really hurts and exhausts you dreadfully upon being granted sweet freedom, it feels like a head rush, like my head is about to explode under such pressure. I'm sweating like a beast, I'm shaking all over, there's no way I can go back to sleep now, maybe I'll watch something light hearted on TV, a cartoon maybe. Something to at least take my mind of this a little bit, giving me the comfort to get some more sleep. I'll write up an update if anything comes back to me.
March 13th (4:56pm)
Okay, I seriously think I am losing it now. I’m literally slapping and pinching myself to get some kind of grip on reality as I’m now having trouble figuring out what’s real anymore. This is all probably due to the lack of sleep I’ve had, my mind playing tricks on me but there I was about ten minutes ago, trudging down the stairs when I slipped and fell right on my ass, I kind of tumbled down the rest of the stairs. It didn’t really hurt but in my brief moment of disorientation I could have sworn my ankle was completely broken, my foot was literally facing the other way. I kind of panicked (as anyone would do) and in my hesitation I moved and found myself back on my feet, my foot facing the right way again. Now I didn’t actually see anything move out or back into place as I was kind of flustered, this little event was over in a matter of seconds but I’m still seriously freaked out by this. No way am I going to tell anyone, they’ll think I’m a weirdo or worse, mentally ill or something. Regardless; I think I’m starting to lose it. I’m sitting here typing, rocking back and forth in my chair trying to find the courage just to walk out my front door and head to the chemist down the road to get some sleeping pills. I know how pathetic I am making myself out to be, there’s a continuous struggle though on what to believe going on in my head, while most of me knows this is all absolutely ridiculous, the rest is convinced there is a good reason to be feeling this way. I’m skeptical and yet unable to let this go, why? A good night sleep is what I really need but how can I have the pleasure of such a luxury if I am afraid to even close my eyes?
March 13th (11:19pm)
So I ended up exchanging a few words over instant messenger this evening with a few mutual acquaintances who I spoke to at Sam’s party. They filled me in on a few details of what I was doing that night; I now know that I was only at the party for a couple of hours, strangely enough I apparently didn’t have a drop of alcohol at all during that time, nor did I smoke or take anything else that may have affected me in any way. They said I kind of just sat around, not knowing what to do with myself (sounds like me) and continuously checking my watch, they didn’t know why though. My guess is that I was waiting for Phil to arrive but these guys mentioned that I clearly said that I needed to be somewhere at a certain time. Unfortunately for me they couldn’t remember where I said I needed to be or at what time. Understandable I guess; I’m hardly expecting them to have figured any of this discussion to be in any way important to them. They were both already drunk but they made it pretty clear that at the time I was clearly in a deep trace of contemplative thought. They said that not long after they spoke to me I just seemed to disappear from the party, so what happened from there remains a mystery. Did anyone see me leave? Yes, I apparently left on my own without even saying goodbye to anybody, wow. That’s really out of character for me, really rude. Where and why did I go? I have no clue whatsoever but something clearly happened to me between then and waking up the next morning. I feel insignificant, like an ant waiting to be crushed under the foot of man, the only place to hide is deep under the ground. I was kind of pressured by my mother into making friends as a kid, now I feel that same kind of pressure coming from my own nagging self conscious to go out into the world and resume the same life I was living a few weeks ago. The more I think about it, the more I feel that I can't go back to such a time, I can't just switch it off, it is all I see whenever I close my eyes. It is not something I can just tell myself to stop thinking about, it returns when I sleep and haunts my memories the very next day in this seemingly endless cycle of insomnia and paranoia. My own surroundings, the world is beginning to feel like a prison, the room is getting smaller. It's getting difficult to breathe, fight or flight is easing in but I am chained down by gravity.
March 14th (6:12am)
I'm shaking yet I feel somewhat refreshed, I think that was the longest nights sleep I've had in weeks. I had the nightmare yes but I think I was so out of it on sleeping pills I slept through the whole ordeal. I'm having trouble believing this just happened but I threw up in the toilet after waking up ten minutes ago, I feel completely weightless and disoriented, like I was flying or something. While I remember having the nightmare very clearly, I have no memories of it's images or what exactly transpired, the only thing I remember conspiring this time is being faced with some sort of choice, like a fork in a road. One path was considerably brighter looking than the other, so I chose what felt like life over death. There was the feeling that I was being pursued by something at the same time, I can only imagine that it was the horrible yellow eyes that drive such ferocious terror from the mere memory of them. This of course is only a guess, for the only thing I have to go by is the fact that I have awoken with the same such anxiety and cold sweating (not to mention the vomiting), that I have woken up to every night since I had the first nightmare. The last feeling I recall before waking up though is that of silently falling, being able to turn my body and spread my arms and legs with ease as the land below slowly drew closer, this moment felt as though it could last forever. Time simply seemed to have stopped, I felt almost at peace for a brief second as if I knew the nightmare was over. This perfect silence ended the second I opened my eyes and noticed my fall was about to end, resulting in my awakening. Because the dream seems to have a chronological series of events.
March 14th (1:27pm)
I think I have figured out which part of the dream usually wakes me up at what I have calculated is around four hours after I fall asleep. It is by far the most memorable part of the nightmare; the entrance of the imprisoning eyes. The yellow eyes seem to emit an extreme feeling of nausea, feeling so real I have occasionally woken up and needed to be sick. The glow of the yellow eyes slowly engulfs my sight, the room is now shining a cold, empty blinding light upon me, pinning me in place with its seemingly poisoning radiance. I have to escape but cannot move, it's like there is a very high gravity pressing me down, like an invisible weight that needs to be lifted. I'm desperately trying to break free, my head is going to explode. It is the second that I violently break free in a second of complete agony, that I suddenly find myself awake in a cold sweat, feeling that I am about to be uncontrollably sick. I can recount though that the ongoing series of events I dream every night has continued from there having been able to sleep through this moment. I think the sleeping pills have done the trick, I probably shouldn't do it frequently but I feel compelled to ensure another full nights sleep and hopefully recount the rest of the dream. Am I really going mad? I mean, I took quite a lot of sleeping pills lastnight, wouldn't repeating such a dosage within twenty four hours be potentially dangerous? Am I going to be discovered dead with this journal being found, showcasing my descent into madness and insane reason for suicide? Maybe I should get out the house today, stop act like a fucking paranoid schizophrenic and willingly fight back for my self confidence. I'm feeling kind of embarrassed now... I've just remembered it's Phils birthday tomorrow! I should probably give him a call later and meet up with him or something. Maybe something like this is just what I need to get my life back on track.
March 16th
Things haven't been so bad recently, maybe it's because I haven't really slept in about two days and I've been out partying with Phil for his birthday, I assumed we'd just have a drink the night before and regroup the next night to actually celebrate. The guy instead talked me into taking some kind of herbal ecstasy from a legal highs shop with him, leaving us staying up for over forty eight hours. It was actually great to forget about the nightmare for a bit and talk to my best friend about everything. Got to admit I didn't speak much about the things I've been talking about in this journal, the pills just made everything feel at peace, think the only mention I actually made of the nightmare was comparing the peace to that which I felt at the very end of my nightmare. I finally came back home at about eleven this morning and went straight to bed. I managed to get a few hours sleep and I had almost forgotten about the nightmare, I had it once again to my surprise and thus it was probably worse than ever. As always so my sudden surprise I manage to slowly overpower whatever is holding me down and break free, in a flash I am lashing out at complete darkness in a blind rage. When I have finally stopped to breathe I realize I am alone, though I don't feel that way. I need to leave this place, the darkness is softly humming, my body is buzzing, I can only run but cannot see where I am going but the concept of standing still is an option that doesn't exist in my instincts. I see light reflecting off of the walls, revealing the corridors I have somehow navigated my way through, this yellow light is only so familiar now, I know what emits it. I run as fast as I can in the opposite direction, I can hear the most monstrous breathing behind me,, it feels almost warm, like it's breathing right down my neck, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end. I'm completely lost in this place, it feels the only way to even see where I am is to face my pursuer. My heartbeat is louder than the humming of my surroundings but all falls to silence before being ambushed by the yellow glow of death that sprung me awake. Appearing from nowhere as if it's an entity of no limits.
In exhaustion though I went back to sleep not long afterwards, I can't explain, nor really remember what I dreamt about, if I even did dream. There was no nightmare but I instead saw a lot of the sky, feeling the piercing winds of roaring through the open air hurting my ears. Woke up on the floor in the most horrific of positions and somehow got up in perfect shape, no pain! I can't explain this but I know what I saw...and felt. My back should be broken and I just got up in one piece like it was nothing. After one simple attempt to prove this to be not of my imagination, I can only say as I conclude this journal, I'm about to start writing another one. I feel now that I count on something else being on my mind other than the nightmares, because I think I'm changing into something inhuman.
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12-08-2013, 06:02 PM
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