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Old 05-23-2013, 05:15 PM   #1
The Chinese Jew
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Alright 3dmm, check out my latest and most ambitious short film - Chasing Roadrunner

My live action efforts have gotten mixed reviews at 3dmm.com. I think my 3dmm efforts have been more liked.

So, this is my latest one. While I haven't completely gotten penis and shit jokes out of my system, this is my most ambitious, mature, and surreal movie to date. And this movie resulted in my first trip to a film festival (as a filmmaker as opposed to just a spectator) to TiFF. Sure, it wasn't the Toronto International Film festival, but Toronto Independent Film festival is the same acronym, so close enough. Right?

Here it is. It's 15 minutes long. I know you guys are always dependable for honest critiques. So, I hope you enjoy.

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Old 05-23-2013, 11:26 PM   #2
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I'm at work, and without audio, but I was curious so I watched the first couple minutes and then quickly skimmed the rest.

It looks interesting, though my instinct tells me it is too long.

There's a handful of shots and cuts that just don't work for me, but I'll reserve further critique until I actually can sit down and watch it with sound.

I might do a running commentary on how the editing and composition makes me feel as your audience. I do that with my work/friends sometimes and find it really can help (of course art is art, and you can do what you want - but there's a science to this medium).
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Old 05-24-2013, 12:49 AM   #3
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I watched through it. I do think its too long and some of the cuts felt awkward, but overall I enjoyed it. I liked the concept quite a bit as I'm sure anyone trying to make it in an art field can relate to the whole internal conflict the guy is going through.
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Old 05-24-2013, 07:45 AM   #4
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Thanks guys, and yeah Ash...that ongoing commentary would be great to read!

And yeah, being too long tends to be the problem with every single one of my projects. But, I've been worse in the past. Remember guys...Shit Happens was 52 minutes. You had to sit through 52 minutes of the worst animations imaginable plus an overly heavy handed script.

Chasing Roadrunner was originally 22 minutes long, and Warren and I sat down to have long discussions of what to cut. We cut out 7 minutes, before I was like, "No! You can't cut that!!"

"No, you can't cut that joke!! It's funny damnit!"

"No, you can't cut that line. That's an interesting idea that I want to put in people's brains!"

You know the drill. Hopefully one of these days, I can shake off the self indulgence and get the length just right.
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Old 05-24-2013, 09:24 AM   #5
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the sound effects and lighting seem kind of... idk, not "professional" enough to be fitting the style.

The "Blink185 MyFaggotRomance" joke is really old and horrible.

"I pay a filipino women to clean cum off of the seats, to feed her family" Idk, man, is this supposed to be funny, or a comment on the modern condition? it just seems kind of crude and pointless. Yeah, it shows that character to be a shallow dick, but I can't imagine the shallowest of dicks saying something as dumb as that.

I have to admit, it's not until it was overtly said that these guys were the same actor/character that i realized it. Great job there.

Around the point of the compromise about anger, i think i'm feeling it.

Overall, good shit man, just the right of ambiguity. It was a bit heavy-handed at times, but never too over the top, and the conclusion seemed liked a good, subtle reaction to these sort of artistic dilemmas.
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Old 05-25-2013, 05:30 AM   #6
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Thanks for the comments, man.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Compcat
the sound effects and lighting seem kind of... idk, not "professional" enough to be fitting the style.

Yeah, we used $30 construction lights. Future projects, I am going to try to make it look more professional, and stop half assing on technical shit.

Quote:
"I pay a filipino women to clean cum off of the seats, to feed her family" Idk, man, is this supposed to be funny, or a comment on the modern condition?

I'll have to disagree with you here, as that line got by far the biggest laugh at the screening. I guess I was going for exaggerating this rich guy to a ridiculous degree, and going for the shock humor. I think there were more jokes about stupid/asshole things he does with his money, but they were cut out.

Quote:
Overall, good shit man, just the right of ambiguity. It was a bit heavy-handed at times, but never too over the top, and the conclusion seemed liked a good, subtle reaction to these sort of artistic dilemmas.

Yeah, subtlety is still something I'm learning. I still tend to just have characters say my views in a blatant way.

But yeah, thanks for the comments!
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Old 05-25-2013, 06:46 AM   #7
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pretty sweet. I had an idea for a short like this but it was a different kind of internal conflict. to be honest, hope this doesn't offend you but I don't view it as a comedy really at all, and didn't really laugh. I still felt it and enjoyed it though, as more of an internal conflict piece. My main critique goes to the sound editing - seems like it was just the further from camera the quieter the voice, which felt awkward with some cuts - not sure if that was intentional or just not edited much, feel like the sound levels could've been equalized.
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Old 05-26-2013, 04:36 AM   #8
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No offense taken, man. I've often tried to be deeper and more philosophical in my scripts, to which I've often been told that my insights are really not as deep as I'd like to think. So, if the movie connected with you in that way, I'm happy to hear that!

And I accept that my humor just isn't everyone's cup of tea. I just tried to have fun with over-exaggerating how much of a shallow asshole the rich guy is, and just how poor the artist is. I guess both characters were quite caricatured.

And yeah, the sound editing, what you mentioned wasn't intentional. I should definitely get a sound editing mix by a pure sound guy as opposed to Warren editing and sound editing. A certain someone has been very adamant about doing sound on my next project, so I just may take him up on his offer.

Thanks for your input.
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Old 05-29-2013, 07:40 AM   #9
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yep



















Haven't seen one of those in a long time.
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Old 06-10-2013, 06:03 PM   #10
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Mr. Evil Ash, I'd still love to get your running commentary review.
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Old 06-10-2013, 06:20 PM   #11
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Hey bud, sorry I forgot about it. Work has been a big piece of shit.

I should have time today, if not tomorrow for sure.

Promises.
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