Don't you hate being COMPLETELY bored?!?!

[Brossy]

I AM keeping it alive!.... just not as often!!!... cuz my mind has been blank...

I was gonna sign it last night. I got home about 1am and just wasnted tired at all so came on the net for a while.

Steve downloaded 3dsm, hes gonna gimme a copy... dunno if I'll bother learning it properly though.

[Deano]

If you need any help I'll give you a hand

::EDIT::

POST NUMBER 1500
Wow.. I'm so honered, so that upgrades me, from total loser... to complete loser!!

[Allergic 2 Life]

QUEEF!

[Allergic 2 Life]

BEEF!

[Brossy]

The weekend sucks, tommorrow will suck, and every day in the close future will suck... infact I can't think of anything good at the moment

[Damage Jackal]

Originally posted by Brix
This is worse than Jonathan Snell's "Alot of Fuss Over Nothing (Ragtag group of rebelz)" thread back on the EZBoard.

that thread was fucking gargantuan. remember those stupid 'let's get to 5000 replies' threads we used to? those were massive!

[Deano]

Ok then... wow thursday and friday were great... sat, sun and today were aweful...

saturday and sunday I sat in front of a monitor all day doing my media animation. saturday i broke up with my girlfriend, cause I just didn't have the feelings there anymore.

Today wasn't bad, up until afterschool, when I went to maccas and all my Ex's friends were there. I used to get along with them all. (this isn't the ex I just broke up with, it's the one before that) anyways I have known for a while they all hated me, and being round them now is just shocking, I could cut the tension with a knife, plus I was looked down upon something immense. I came outta that fucking depressed.

[Brossy]

I've got a shitload to say.... yay

I am in the most shocking mood. I hate it.
I've loved the past week or so... infact, this thread is proof of what happened! I stopped thinking! It was seriously like a holiday. I don't know how it happened... it was like i switched off, I wish I could control it...

So today, dole work. I'm the only one there again. Shovelling stuff all morning, doing NOTHING from 12 till 3:30.

Was text messaging with Emma. She said shit like "You never know what the future might hold if you allow it"... fuck that, after her saying distance was too much?
We were talking about seeing each other some time, and finished with saying we'd talk online tonight.

I get online, and for the first time since ive had her on msn she changes her nickname to "Phill is the love of my life". What the fuck?!?! Her and her fucking guilt trips she tries to put me on. Blah, we talke d a biut... fuck her, ive gotta put her on block or something.

So I try to see if someone can cheer me up... nup, my bad mood is contagious, everyone i say hello to has some problem of their own.
I get a new person on msn who is boring as hell, with answers such as 'yeh'.

I'm in the most fucked up mood, and it's a chain reaction. Everything shitty is just flodding into my head and pissing me off. My lack of friends, or rather ones that I can actually do stuff with. My lack of basically a LIFE apart from sitting at this fucking computer bitching to people over the net... for what? Some sort of vague pity? Why do i do it? Do people really give a shit what's happening in my life? Why would someone in melbourne wanna hear about how im pissed off over a girl? The net is fucked.

Ironically, I ask why I do it as im actually doing it...

I cant think of anything. I cant think of a job id like, I cant think of the rest of my life, its all just blank, Im 19 wasting away living at home with my parents, whigning at my 2 days of dole work a week because its less time that I can sit my fat ass in front of this computer to cheer people up about their problems as some sort of consilation of not solving my own. Bbut thats not it either, becaause meeting so many people, and using the net for so long, its become real to me. These lines of text and sent files of .jpgs are real people... 'friends'? bah... i guess in a way, but text... my life is fucking text, its shit
So why dont i do anything? sit here and type it all out... i could be typing a fucking secretaries report or some shit, earning my $500 a week or whatever, get me away from this computer and actually meet some people... but no, iom fucking lazy with no motivation or ambition, cant find any, cant find anything to 'inspire' me, the only 'interest' ive found is the stock market, which you can basically make a career out of... you guessed it, by sitting at home in front of a fucking computer. Great way to make money... but what about actuyally haviung a life?

So should i go to a club or something? Put all the cynisism aside about stereotypes and have some faith that i might meet some cool people? But what... "hi, im brad". hope first judgements arnt made on looks, which by human nate they are, then try and 'impress' without looking like im trying to impress. how the fuck am i meant to meet people? I was gonna say hello to a girl at a bus stop this morning... just out of nowhere. but didnt, because im a gutless wonder. lack of confidence? i guess it is! i guess i have to admit ive got a confidence problem... i think its more of a lack of faith problem, that there are actually decent people out there with morals.

sure, they're out there... in melbourne, or western asutralia, or sydney. places i cant get to, or are hard to get to, and have to use text to even know of their existence. my human contact is through the tips of ym fingers... i'll get old and get RSI and arthritus and say "fuckin computers".

So what else have i got to say? somseone just asked me how i was, one of the people that actually makes sense to me, i type it out and havnt got a reply yet... i fuckin hate that. cahnces are shes making a sandwich or some shit though.

What a waste of time... typiong out all this shit. And it hasnt made me feel any 'better'. And what will i do? probably make a text file of it and send it to people, to let them read through my thoughts, and for what? why would they want to? whats gonna keep them interested up until this point, to actually comment? and will the comment actually be more intersting than "wow... that sucks" or "cheer up" ? ARGH! I hate thinking, i wanna stop again... and i fuckin hate the lack of decent people in my life.

[Brossy]

...does anyone else get the shits with "you're not the only one". As if complaining about your problems instantly makes you selfish. I mean when you're down are you meant to instantly think of everyone else? SO the only time ya meant to be worried about yourself... is when ya in a happy mood?

Fuckin shallow ass non thinking people...

I hate this, I'm getting to hate too many people because of 'typicalness'. People arn't unique or genuine enough.

[Deano]

I'm not going to tell stories of people who have it worse because that pocket of self security and gratefullness only lasts a matter of minutes

All I have to say is what I've been telling you all along.
make shit happen.
That's as simple as it is.
You're problem is that you let your common sense take over before action has even been taken.
I say you are too concious of your actions, the reason why you are at the computer so much is because it is a constant feed of something you know wont wreck your life, but on the other hand, It might possibly will
So I say just do things without thought, even if you are thinking, just ignore your opposing thoughts. many of my decisions were made by forcing myself, when in the moment of action, my mind was nearly telling me to get out by reaction, but I went through with it.
For instance, asking holly out, you have no idea how my mind was saying "Shutup, turn away, dont do this" when I asked her, but I am very glad I went out with her.
You will probably mention the headscrew I got with that, and the amount of times I said things were bad, but those are the prices you have to pay, and the best thing to do is shut it behind you and look ahead, which is what I'm doing.

What should you do I ask? Apply for a job anywhere. Who fucking cares if you hate it. Nearly everyone hates their job. Even if you work at a tip, it doesn't matter, at least you have a steady flow of money. And while you have that job you will be bitching about how much you hate it, but when you look back you will see how much it contributed to your life.

another angle is take up a hobby, which you have tried, taking up guitars and photoshop. What happened? you told yourself you couldn't do it. What I suggest is dwell on your skill level and just keep at it no matter what. for instance my 3d arts. I went through many periods of doubt, I could see I wasn't getting any better or wasn't getting any more skillful, it's been 2 years on and off but when I look at myself now, I'd say I have gone very far, I can use the program without thinking now.
With guitars, I suggest you take lessons, they are supposed to do difference

One angle I can suggest is that you are addicted to computers.
But that sounds like something a guilt trip inducing father would press onto you.

[Sinarach]

The difference between you, Brad, and other people that bitch about their lives, is that they do it in moderation whereas it seems as if you're doing almost every single day.

Pull yourself together- work up some goals and ask yourself where you want to be in 5 years.

You'll be damned if you're in this same position after a couple of years.

[Brossy]

Haha, the thing I hate is I can 'stand up for myself' and counter everything giving reasons to not do anything. I can defend why I should keep my current life, even though I don't want to.

Firstly the girl thing. Bad comparison, that's not just me, that's everyone. Asking a girl out is a tad different to trying to decide on a career of some sort.
And to give a cynical example, when I asked a girl out after 4 years of hiding that I like her, I was told she was going out with my ex best friend... so NER!

The job thing, you're probably right, but like you say I am too logical. I can stay on the dole, work my 24 hours a week and make more than a minimum wage job per hour. If I finish this work I get $800 credit for any courses I wanna do or licenses I wanna go for.

And lets see, my hobbies of guitar and photoshop???
Recently I've learnt Mr. Jones on guitar, aswell as half of 'tribute', and learnt some other random chords, so I havn't 'given up'. Photoshop? If I get an idea I make something... I just can't think of things very often.

So there we go, counteracting things that you've given me 'advice' on... I hate it, that I can logically argue why I shouldn't change, when the only thi8ng that will help me is to change...

[Brossy]

Whoa, Adrian signed while I was signing...

Adrian is weird, I like him, and he's really unique. His mind works in this way that no one else's does....

Hmm, now what'd he say... I complain... I do seem to a lot hey? The best thing is I havn't for ages, well only a week... but it feels like ages.

Goals... that's definately what i need actually... but then 'Goals' would feel li8ke 'asessments' in school, would feel like things I'd hate and push them aside to the last minute... Goals is it though... but I've got no idea.
I can't see myself in 5 years. I don't know what I want...

[Brossy]

Doesn't everyone love all this sep. 11 remberance stuff....

yay

[Qball]

I really hope nothing happens. Shit spawns from shit, and since it's 3:50 a.m. here, I have another 20 hours to hope for the best. I hope Sept. 12th hurries up.

[Brossy]

This planned weekend of goodness was shit

[Robert Domke]

Yeh

[Deano]

Ok here's my entree for today:

Well my weekend was pretty strange.

Saturday I went to the St Pauls deb at 7pm, this is the school that both my exs goto.
Andyways that was ok, it got me down to see my ex up there all done up and beautiful. But anyways that was the warm up.
Then came the after party.
started at 1am, I drank, talked to a lot of people and it was really weird. Why you ask? Well I was talking normally to people I thought hated me, the wonders of alchohol. My ex was with some guy (this isn't the one I'm not over yet so it's ok)
It finished at 5, I walked back to the house that my stuff was at, then I walked to work and worked from 6am-11am, I was fucked.

[Deano]

Ohh and on the walk back i was springing a leak off the side of the road, this car was coming so I shook and zipped my pants back up, a few seconds later I feel a wet patch, luckily it didn't show on my pants. Plus the car was a cop car. I kept walking then this car pulled up, it was holly's mum with a car full of peoples, the nice lady gave me a lift back to the house and I walked to work from there.

[Brossy]

God I suck...
I don't even feel like typing about anything anymore

I'm sick of myself

[Robert Domke]

Why not write a computer generated complain letter to yourself !?

http://hugin.sigusr1.org/~pakin/complaint

[Brix]

Originally posted by Brossy
God I suck...
I don't even feel like typing about anything anymore

I'm sick of myself

Great. LET THIS THREAD FUCKING DIE.

[Michael Jeffrey]

What was that Bix?

111111!!!

[Brossy]

Nah, fuck letting it die, I might aswell not be here if I don't reply in this thread

[Deano]

I just saw xXx, but with 2 chicks, who all the way through were gasping over vin deisel, it gave me the shits after a while
I ate a big bag of m&ms and I rattle now when I dance