Another Molotov Review Thread
 

After the last one died out due to laziness, I've decided to make another, starting with the review that I never did: VGN2. (Look down this post for it)

Waiting List:
Moderately Confused
JDR Revolutions

Reviewed:
Videogame Nightmare 2 (Pg 1)
Doughboy's Hair Raising Tale of General Enthusiasm (Pg 1)
Hatboy Episode 1 (Pg 1)
Replay: Replayed (Pg 1)
KRB Revival (Pg 1)
Actor's Day (Pg 1)
Cracking Good Fun (Pg 1)
Diaries (Pg 1)
00 Dee Boned: Venison Jelly (Pg 1)
Pamela (Pg 2)
Ice Cream Man (Pg 2)
Unleash the Dragon (Pg 2)
Hangman (Pg 2)
Liquid Sunshine (Pg 2)
SATANIK (Pg 2)

Videogame Nightmare 2
By Mike Belfance and Justin Wawrzonek



Videogames. The heart and soul of every lazy assed, self-indulgent kid in the first world. The foundation of my education and personality, and the centrepiece of one of the funniest and most creative 3dmm comedies on this side of the solar system.

The storyline is as follows: Two kids (Mike and Justin themselves) had already been warped into the videogame world in their last VGN adventure, and had to defeat the evil Videogame Master to escape. Now, an epic two days later, the Videogame Master has been restored from the Recycle Bin, and Mike and Justin get sucked into the videogame world once again, having zany adventures along the way, and cameo-ing in several well known games, and even some not very well known ones.
Throughout their adventure, the comedy that Belfance and Wawrzonek create is used to the full in every frame of action. I personally enjoy all of Mike and Justin's comedies, but this one has got to take the cake (And some of the custard delights, too). The good thing about it is: You can tell that this is clever comedy. Not necessarily well thought-out, but clever nonetheless, and that's the kind of comedy that I enjoy, as well as other people. I mean come on, they sweeped up the 2003 Comedy Golden Gustave and were even nominated for best movie, as well as other various awards that mightn't be as important. It's official that the yellow-wearing duo are two real funny pimps.
Anyway, on to more technical issues at hand. The graphics had a lot to be said for, but were totally unnecessary. It's like a power line - you don't need 500 volts when only 100 is needed. And the graphics in this movie are basic in some ways, but then pretty damn awesome the next. Plus, the BEAT IT music video totally cranked up VGN2's enjoyment factor. All the videogames used were done perfectly, and I'm still trying to figure out what most of them are. As for voice acting, it proved weak in some places, but overall pretty neato. Although the never-ending storage of QUOTES that B + J have gets pretty annoying after awhile, because they are funny, but you feel that it was pretty lazy and it was using someone else's funny stuff.

Anyway, I'm not one for long reviews as you can see, so here we go:

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 10/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 5/5
VOICES: 3/5
STORYLINE: 21/30
ANIMATION: 16/20
VA VA VOOM: 40/50

OVERALL: 90/120

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * * * 9/10

"The nightmare that views like a dream. Good stuff."

NOTE: You may notice I added 'Va Va Voom' to the tech. review thingy. This is abit like watchability, or how entertaining it is, or something like that. If you don't understand then look back to that advert with Thierry Henri or whatever his name is.

Review stuff other people don't, just for some variety

Erm I reviewed VGN2 because Justin (Or was it Mike?) asked me to.

Review Hatboy ep 1 please.
Thanks

Doughboy's Hair Raising Tale of General Enthusiasm
By Doughboy



I've always been quite the fan of Doughboy's HMCs, although I have on occasion referred to them as puppets. But I do like their design, and get pissed off when I realise that I can't make one like his either because I'm not skilled enough to do so or if I do it'll be all unoriginal or something. And this movie was definitely a showcase of the young lad's talents (Although I shouldn't call him young, he's about a year or so older than me, correct?).

A pretty awesome storyline here, with the whole 'Last wishes' company thing. That was pretty goddamn creative. I thought the ending was pretty coolio too, though you'll have to scrounge up and read through the movie thread itself to find out more about what I said, because I like to keep most of my reviews spoiler-clean.
Anyway, next up is the voice acting. And boy oh boy, what acting there was. A definite 5/5 here, because ALL the characters sounded perfect. Absolutely perfect (And I'll pardon Deacon Search for some of his low-volume speeches). Deacon was kind of a more 'active' clone of Jon Barton's voice box, and Jason Nelson did a pretty splendiferous job here, too. Some of the best I've seen in a long, long time.
And onto the animation. Oh, joyous day! Something that Doughboy really kicks a little ass at, and I'm sure anyone who's watched Animation Tournament will agree with me. In some cases it was rather odd, seeing that Doughboy can't really get people-holding-guns looking just right but on common occasion was there something that I envied to stare at (Most notably the parachute scene - that was fuckin' WHACK, dawg).
In short, this was a damn good movie. Maybe not very halloween-related, but good nonetheless (I like that word. I should use it more often).

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 14/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 2/5
VOICES: 5/5
STORYLINE: 23/30
ANIMATION: 17/20
VA VA VOOM: 37/50

OVERALL: 98/120

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * * 8/10

"A movie with a long name and a lot of the good stuff. Keep it coming, boy of dough."

Wanna review for 3dmm Studio?

Umm... okay!

:)

:D Sweet.
MSN? AIM? email?

Re: Another Molotov Review Thread
 

Hahaha, the two funniest lines in the review (which was great btw :) ).

Thanks alot, and yeah, I agree, the soundclips are "lazy comedy" and are extremely overused (notice in our last two movies we used a lot less of them).

If you ever wanted to know every game in the music video, here's a complete list in order (I put it in spoiler text just in case you want to figure it out for yourself)-
Contra, Golden Eye, Worms, DDR, The Sims, Pitfall, Bust-A-Move, Mario RPG, Mario 2, Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball, Kirby, Blaster Master, Final Fantasy 1, Pac-man, Ninja Gaiden, Tony Hawk, Road Rash, Metroid, Metal Gear Solid, General Chaos, Pong.

Hatboy: Episode 1
By Jpro and Mr Mong



Honestly, I haven't seen a two-person chain movie before. Not that I can remember anyway, and if I can't remember it then it probably wasn't very good. But this is one movie that I can remember. Very well, in fact. I'll leave that to you to figure out.

Hatboy is a sorta-random-sorta-not chain movie about a boy with a hat that has INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES. Yes, it doesn't sound very pleasing but nearly all of the 'random' things that happen are explained, more or less (Well, except for the large gelatinous blob but you can just blame it on radiation or something. Also, what was up with that green thing that hatboy kills in a fight all about? Explain please, Jpro!!). Mong totally stole the show in terms of voice acting and more or less comedy, but he couldn't have done it without all of Jpro's ideas and cliffhangers, all of which were pretty cool. Who thought of the blob? Jpro. Who thought of the team's identity? J's your man. And it's stuff like that that keeps a chain movie going.
All of the scenery and animation was pretty BAD ASS. I especially liked the animation of the blob eating a building while Mayor Retard and Faggot Man (Oh god, you HAVE to bring them back!) watch from their...building... thing....... yes. The humor round here was pretty strong as well. I laughed at the "I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me... faggot man, sir" bit, and the Thomas Bown stand up was pretty funny too.

I could go on, but to be honest, I can't be arsed. But it doesn't matter anyways, because what's important is what is below these very words...

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 14/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 3/5
VOICES: 3/5
STORYLINE: 19/30
ANIMATION: 17/20
VA VA VOOM: 34/50

OVERALL: 80/120

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * 1/2 7.5/10

"A nifty little start to what I hope is to be a series of many. Keep them coming, please!"

Re: Re: Another Molotov Review Thread
 

* Saves list to text file *

And thanks :)


bamberthesheep@gmail.com

:D

Hey thanks for the review! I enjoyed reading it.


If you mean the guy who slaps him randomly. It gets explained in Ep2......kinda.

Cheers for the review, the blob gets explained to an extent in hatboy 2 and..


Hehe Just wait.

Replay: Replayed
By Pogo



Spinoffs of good movies have undoubtedly been done before, but I don't think anybody's pulled off a spinoff of a crap movie quite as well as Pogo has done with this juggernaut of a pwn. Read on and see...

Now Replay was a bad movie. It's undenyable, it wasn't exactly an oscar-winning drama, but in my views it was a bad movie. A shit movie. As Andres would say, an ABOMINATION. And that's why Max saw it and felt it ripe for the picking, and turned it into a funny-assed classic.
Notably, I am refusing to technically review this movie because most of the features were supplied by Ramza, and a lot of it's supposed to be bad, so I'll just give it a personal review. In fact, I'm failing to see what to review except for how funny the movie is. I guess I'll have to do that then. This shouldn't take long...

* Approximately 4 and a half hours later... *

Okay, I've decided what I want to write! Replay: Replayed is funny in all areas where Replay failed to capture the essence of a good and thrilling drama. He shitkicked the scenery in the face with his 'man standing on the not-moving road' bit. He butt-slammed the storyline with his 'I left the oven on' skitorama. And he powernoogied the lack of mystery by making Ramza scream "Hahahahahaha you stupid bastard! Suspect 1 DIED!!". It was utter bliss to watch, and I'm sure you'll agree. Go watch it if you haven't already. I guarantee a titter or two.

PERSONAL REVIEW: * * * * * * * 7/10

KRB Revival
By Pogo



Another of Pogo's famous parody movies, this time taking the piss out of Tom Bown and Doughboy's atrocity, Killing Ramza Brave, and Daniel Martin (AKA Dominator Dan's) JDR Revival. And what can I say? It was a good load of pwn.

Once again, Pogo has brought back the hilarious character of Ramza Brave, the big-headed and fairly hot-headed 3dmmer that hates Tom GAY and DoughQUEER. I love this guy, mainly because of his voice and the fact that he gets pissed off by everyone. For that I've got to give him a few points.
In this movie, there's laughter everywhere you turn. I haven't seen the KRB this movie is based on, but I still laughed at all of the jokes that were used, and got them. The newbie army button thing was a complete classic, the security guards were great and the merry-go-round thing was pretty chortling.

Um... I'm really tired and I can't find anything else to say about this, again because it's a parody movie. I'm still refusing to do a technical review, but if Pogo really wants me to do one then I'll see what I can do.

PERSONAL REVIEW: * * * * * * 1/2 6.5/10

"Another hilarious flick from the parody-producing Pogo."

Yay. Nice reviews. Yu0=awesome:)

Yeah, fuck the technical reviews, cuz there's pretty much nothing technical to go on

Actor's Day
By Dominator Dan



Imagine the 3dmm actors in their own little world, where people live out there lives within areas like 'Expansionville' or 'Prop Town'. Got it? Good. Now imagine that a movie was made showcasing the lives of various 3dmm actors and their lives. Have you got that trapped inside your head yet? Good. Now, totally forget all of that, because imagination is no longer necessary with Dan's latest flick.

Like pretty much all of Dan's work that I've seen (Yes, both Revolutions AND Revival OMG), this movie is pretty kooky with totally pwnifying animation that puts all others to shame. SHAME. The idea is as I said at the top: The 3dmm actors living out their lives in 3dmm-world. But it's not like a documentary or anything (Although that would be nice), but instead a boquet of sketches and skits involving things about 3dmm. It's little things like a fugitive grabbing an 'L' off a 'SALE' sign and shooting his pursuer with it that makes me titter and guffaw like a high cookaburra.
Anyway, the scenery is the complete awesomeness you'd expect from Danimations, with the movement of it all as equal as you'd have thought, especially the Doraemon fight scene. It's enough to rival even the almighty Aaron Haynes, although I'm not saying that it's better. Take note, Dan, that I'm going to totally dissect your movies to increase my animation skill (Although, who doesn't?)
The laugh-o-level in this little flick has superb timing. Dan is definitely moreso one for slapstick comedy than the other - sometimes considered more 'civilised' - types of chortle carpentry. The storyline kinda wears a bit of an annoyance suit, however, in that all the characters are totally torn apart from each other's storyline. What would've been more interesting, maybe if Dan had the time, would be to have all the stories of the angry doraemon characters or something all coming together at the end, rather than the well-made but not quite as satisfying 'deleting spree' ending. Well, all's well that end's well I guess.

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 14/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 4/5
VOICES: 2/5
STORYLINE: 18/30
ANIMATION: 20/20
VA VA VOOM: 41/50

OVERALL: 99/120

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * 7/10

"A keg of fun and a cage of laughter. I have high expectations for Dan in the near future."

NOTE: I've changed my personal score limit from 5 stars to 10. The ratings were all too similar last time.

OMG thanks for the review :)!

Cracking Good Fun
By Buzvonlurt

SPOILERS AHOY



Cracking Good Fun is about a man who hears from a guy he meets on the road that an 'alien' is out to get him. And thus the story enrolls, with plenty of strange, nonsensical but wholly unmissable frames of fun... that's uh, cracking good.

The voice acting throughout the movie was overall pretty awesome. The police voices were kinda low compared to everyone elses', and the bum's voice was a little under average, but come on, Sid Walker's accent is brilliant (The 'You're an ugly creature, aren't you?' line was hilarious)! The music was also pretty good, mainly around when they're looking into the dark, DANGEROUS PASSAGEWAY OF DOOM... or so I thought. But actually it turned out to be just a few frames of Half-Life sound effects, which was pretty underwhelming but beautifully cinematographised(?). The storyline... was kinda odd. Two men go on a search for an alien, find it, but then find out it's actually Doctor Kaysee, but THEN find out that it really was the alien after all, and kill it with a wine bottle. Not MGM material prehaps, but it's overall watchability balances it out.

Erm... it's a bit short, this review, isn't it? I guess I could go on about graphics, but basically they were all good. All of them. Nothing detailed to go into, but... yeah.

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 12/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 4/5
VOICES: 4/5
STORYLINE: 11/30
ANIMATION: 17/20
VA VA VOOM: 39/50

OVERALL: 67/120

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * 7/10

"A nice watch, but a bit more story would make it better."

Diaries

Diaries
By Verti



In not many words: It could've been better.

Yes, I'll admit that Verti is new and presumably inexperienced at 3dmm, but this really was awful. The scenery was basic, the animation was really something terrible, and most of it didn't make much sense anyway, and was pretty badly timed.
The story was the only good thing about the movie, although the storyline itself was pretty bad, the idea of the movie was actually pretty good, and it's a shame that it couldn't have been better. Verti, don't take this personally but this movie was really bad. Don't worry, in time you'll improve, and so will your movies.

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 4/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 2/5
VOICES: 1/5
STORYLINE: 8/30
ANIMATION: 4/20
VA VA VOOM: 16/50

OVERALL: 35/120

PERSONAL SCORE: * * 2/10

"A pretty poor movie overall. Shame, because it could've been something better."

Hey thanks.


Edit: That was pretty quick actually

Oh, and for the Cracking Good Fun review, Buz asked me to post this, which should cover up some cracks in the storyline:

review anything by me, if u want.

00 Dee Boned: Venison Jelly
By Russel Stepan



What can I say? That was pure brilliance in every possible way. I never really expected much out of the sixth in the Dee Boned series, but this really did overwhelm me to the point of jaw-droppingness, which believe me is hard to do.

Everything that was animated in this movie was animated with precise timing and executed with some fiiiiiiiine skill indeed. I had to watch this movie twice, in two parts: One to hear the story and figure out what's going on, the other to gawk endlessly at my computer screen until my eyes begin to ache (Not specifically in that order). From the chase scene to the... other chase scene to........ another chase scene? Chase after chase after chase after... witty conversation. I'd have thought Id've got bored of all the chasing by the middle of the movie, but this stuff was to amazing to possibly get bored of. The gunfight scene? Brilliant. Log flume scene? WHOLLY AWESOMES. And best of all, it was all FUNNY, an area of which most PAMs fail in.
I'll admit the storyline isn't pretty incredible, although it's a lot better than the past Dee Bonedses, with our hero being FRAMED (Gasp) for stealing the chief's venison jelly sandwich. Comedic action ensues throughout. But the thing with the story is that by the time you've finished you think that the story WAS good. But then when you actually think about what happens, you come back down to earth with a bump that could break your legs and pelvis. But it's good to know that this movie has made a breakthrough in pointless action movies by making the viewer forget that there's a storyline at all. Not make them forget there ISN'T one, but make them forget that the one that there IS is so dumb. It's tough to explain, but it sure fills up this review, huh?
The voices were good. Russel was brilliant and Jaymond was the same as he always is: Great. The humor was as sharp as a razored razormane, with the kind of slapstick comedy I'd expect out of Dominator Dan. All the 'stupid' laughs that you get around here work really well with the movie as a whole, so that's definitely a good point. Anyway, back to business:

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 14/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 4/5
VOICES: 4/5
STORYLINE: 13/30
ANIMATION: 20/20
VA VA VOOM: 46/50

OVERALL: 101/120

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * * * 9/10

"Watch out Dominator Dan, you've got some stiff competition."

Pamela d00d

Slightly Confused

i....Ice Cream Man?

Didn't I already do that in my last review thread?

UTD and Hangman please

Pamela
By Aaron Haynes



On the penultimate day of the 2004 film festival, Aaron releases almost straight out of the blue another of his countless visual masterpieces, and a great movie on the side, too.

This movie introduces one of the most lovable characters in the 3dmm history-thing, Detective Detective Joe Peterson, who is without a doubt a great and, well, fun-to-laugh-at kind of guy. And he's caught up in a web of CRIME AND CORRUPTION IN THE LAND OF THE... LIVING(?).... okay, maybe not. The real story is that Detective Detective (;)) Joe Peterson is finding out that all of his clients aren't staying alive long enough to pay him, and that they're all being killed without reason or warning by a woman named Pamela. And so the story begins...
Like everything Aaron makes, Pamela features stunning scenery and animation, with a perfect soundtrack that fits the movie like a pair of oiled-up black socks. Of course I recognised most of them (Mainly the Don Copal theme and Mr Frustration music from Grim Fandango) down to a letter (Post mp3 of Keep 'Em Seperated plz?). Soooo... yeah.
Now to what I believe is the most important part of any film, the Va-Va-Voom. The Mojo. What the french call a certain... I don't know what. And this movie has VVV coming up to its ears. With the jokes, the laughs and not a single mishap in movie co-ordination (Bear with me here), I have to say that this is a fantastic movie. And how quickly did he make it? A few months, maybe? Geez.
The voice acting throughout the movie was marvellous (Even though there were only 2 and a half voice actors), all of them. Jon Barton did a splenderifikkus job as Peterson, better than I had anticipated or thought he could do for the role (Considering he had to talk in a slight american accent). Max did a good job with his one-liner, and Burgon also succeeded in his extremely deep and moving roles........... .....

Aaaaagh, I'm so tired right now so if this review sucks please tell me :(

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 15/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 5/5
VOICES: 4/5
STORYLINE: 19/30
ANIMATION: 20/20
VA VA VOOM: 46/50

OVERALL: 109/135

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * * * 9/10

"Stunning, beautiful and a definite watch."

Just under three weeks, believe it or not. The script consisted of nothing but Detective's monologue, and the film itself was crafted around that. 3dmmap made the whole thing go incredibly smoothly, though I still had to invent a lot of shadow and lighting effects on the spot to give the film its own visual look.

Thanks for the review, man. :) And yeah I'll get that mp3 up when I can get Orcus to upload for me, as my upstream here at college is terrible.

OH. MY. GOD!

Ice Cream Man
By Kyle Magocs



Ice Cream Man is... well, a music video. Nothing to spiffy or amazing story-centric wise, but it's a fun little watch about a kid chasing an ice cream truck for some... vague reason... I dunno, just read this and shut up.

Now, I've never seen any of Kyle Magocs' other stuff (NOTE: I watched this movie before I saw his compilation) so I don't know what to expect from him, but the basic scenery and sometimes sorta under-average animation left me in dark from what I was supposed to be watching. Okay, so there's no story, bad scenery and animation, so what am I to expect from a movie like this? The answer is 2-and-a-bit minutes of good fun, that's what. It's always fun to watch chases in 3dmm, no matter how they look or what they're about. So I was pretty pleased while watching that young lad breeze down the highway after the one-eyed ice cream man before tansforming into a bouncy HMC and ending the movie with a cliff drop. Um... there's not much else to say, really.

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 6/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 5/5
NO VOICES
NO STORY
ANIMATION: 11/20
VA VA VOOM: 30/50

OVERALL: 52/85

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * 6/10

"Good for short viewing, but nothing spectacular."

Unleash the Dragon
By Frogman



Having started off in the community fairly recently, I haven't experienced the hype that was chuggered up by this film, but from what I've seen today I can definitely say it deserved it all. I'll review each section seperately:

The Boat
What can I say except for 'Very James Bond'. Frogman has definitely captured the essence he was trying to achieve in making a 3dmm version of a 007 movie, which usually turn out very disappointingly indeed. The animation and construction, overall, was astounding. The shimmy action, the guns, the camoflage HMC were just a few samples of the good stuff Frogman has managed to whip up on this little program. And then, moments after the pretty cool fight scene, comes the widely popular and very famous 'boat jump' slow-mo scene. Astounding. Hmm... but wasn't the blood a little much for a James Bond movie?

Casino Confrontation
As soon as Mr Bond steps out of the lift you know what's gonna happen... and boy does it happen. You know and I know that everybody loves to see small asians having the shit kicked out of them by a bearded man wearing karate pants, so it was pretty obvious no one could be disappointed here. I know I certainly wasn't. Some coolio fight animation here, definitely a charmer for a movie such as this.

ATV Chase
W...wow. Fucking wow. Definitely some of the best vehicles I've ever seen in a 3dmm movie, including the train. And the clincher is they seem pretty basic when you actually take them apart and have a look at them that you feel really annoyed for some reason. Then there's the helicopter and another memorable scene involving a british secret agent, an enemy airborne assault machine and a very large explosive device. Anyway, all this is definitely used to good effect here, albeit some areas are obviously unfinished.

The Infiltration
Definitely some XIII flashbacks here (Altough this was made long before XIII was out, right?) with the whole snow base and everything. The snow effect was pretty awesome, as was the sniper rifle view. After that it leaves you with a rather empty feeling of unfinishededness as it goes on to the voiceless conversation scene.

I don't technically review unfinished movies.

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * * 8/10

"Definitely would've been worth the hype if finished. A very sad loss."

Hangman
By Frogman



Now, when I watched Hangman for the first time I loved it. It was smoothly done, surprising and although the scenery and animation was a little basic, it was all made up for by its original plotline and strong atmosphere.

Then, I went out and bought a game called Twisted Metal: Black.

And I was like, what the fuck? If you ever play TMB and watch the cinematics you'll see the massive link between it and Hangman. Sunder (Obviously Frogman's version of Calypso), the dialogue, even Paint It Black at the end, TMB's theme tune. Now usually I'm not too picky about relations between two things, but I felt more like this was a TMB fan movie than an original flick, and considering I felt it so original at the beginning I felt slightly cheated at what came before my eyes. However, the music that accompanied the movie was spudgin' awesome, the voices were also pretty good. Basically, this could've been better if it hadn't been already done by someone else.

If you want proof, watch Hangman then download Agent Stone's opening and closing cinematics at www.tmalliance.com

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 4/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 5/5
VOICES: 5/5
STORYLINE: 0/30
ANIMATION: 5/20
VA VA VOOM: 20/50

OVERALL: 39/135

PERSONAL SCORE: * * 2/10

"A good movie, but it's lack of originality whatsoever kills it all. An awful shame."

But how was it beFORE you learned it was ripped? That's worth mentioning, because if that ruinned the movie for you then there's nothing in your review for someone who hasn't bothered with Twisted Metal: Black.

Hmm, a good point. I thought about it a bit too, but then I thought what could I say about it that's any different if the storyline is unoriginal and he didn't make it up himself, the storyline being the only thing that made me like it at the start.

I wish I could give it a better mark, but I really can't.

liquid sunshine please

SATANIK.

I like the fact that you put pictures at the top of your reviews....

I've never seen anyone do that on a review thread here.....

Moderately Confused :)

ahem

"Shit Happens" please.

molotov cocktails = awesome

Already reviewed, check my last review thread.

And I'll do the rest ASAP. Thanks for the bump.

Liquid Sunshine
By Jon Barton



When I downloaded this movie, I wasn't really sure what I was going to be in for, considering this came from the guy who made Y&SWHN, a film about a bird that goes psycho-insane. Was this going to be a drama? A comedy? Well... at the end, it turned out to be a bit of both.

The joes in this movie are 'crude' to say the least, including jokes about roadkill, vomit and people getting crushed by trees, but hey. This is the 21st Century. Our generation laughs at the misfortune of others. So to say the least there were plenty of laughs round about here. There were plenty of tears, too, and they weren't from the laughter of the 'veggie burger' joke. The monologue of the tube-headed man would've been considered 'moving' by others, but this is a review by ME, and I personally fail to cry about the tragic problems of a bald man with a cylinder for a head, but hey. Different strokes for different folks or something like that. Barton did a very good attempt at voicing the lead character, keeping in his usual optimistic british accent that we've all come to know and love. And the graphics! Oooohhh, yes. We've got some fantastical scenery here (Plus extra 'weather' by Mr Helping Hand Haynes), and some brilliant HMC animation that's smooth, stylish and... uh... s'funny. Jon's character design of tube-heads makes a wonderful addition to his supply of 'good stuff'. Now on to the storyline, and at first it was a little hard to understand. Now I've seen it about twelve times... and it's still a little hard to understand. I won't go into spoilers but rest assured it'll have you thinking by the time the volume goes on down.

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 15/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 4/5
VOICES: 4/5
STORYLINE: 26/30
ANIMATION: 18/20
VA VA VOOM: 34/50

OVERALL: 101/135

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * * 8/10

"Quality reels from the imaginative Joe Burton!"

Well, in this particular case, the movie took special care to point out that since he's awoken from a coma years after going into the hospital, he finds that a child version of himself got to pick and choose what it is he has memories of. This is the whole point of his monologue, that he has the memory of an 11-year-old boy, with the kinds of things an 11-year-old boy would remember best: crude things like roadkill, vomit, and moments of humiliation and embarrassment.

Good review. I like "Helping Hand Haynes", I'm gonna remember that.

* Finds your review *

* Hugs you very hard *

'Attempt?' implying it fails or at least had something else to measure up to, yet you have contradicted yourself by giving the vocal score a respectable 4 out of 5.

It's a compliment.

Er it was meant in a good way. I think 'job' should've been a better word, but I was moreso referring to you doing the voices. I guess it's just bad wording, really.

SATANIK
By Andres De La Hoz



Says Andres (Evan?) in his SATANIK trailer: "Action, costumes, sex, niggers! Come on guys, what more do you want? It's going to be awesome!" Well, quite.

SATANIK is one of those films that as soon as you open it you know it's going to be an instant classic. Just by placing your cursor on the play button gives you the anticipation required to allow to watch this film as it should be watched - knowing that this film IS going to be awesome. It's that kind of skill that only a good lot of hype and directional reputation can pull of, and Andres De La Tarantino has made sure that I was NOT going to get bored of this film.
The entrance of the movie starts just where I like it: Right in the middle of the action. The opening's so stylish and entertaining that I stopped the movie and watched it again, just for the hell of it. Who wouldn't want to see a fight between four security guards and a black man who sounds like a white man who looks like a guy in a skeleton costume? The simply slick comic-book stylee, impossible Kung Fu kicks and plenty of witty retorts gives your brain a good whack with a rolled-up newspaper telling you to pay attention to the damn movie, you KNOW this shit's gonna be good.
Okay kids, settle down. This isn't some little kid flick a ten-year-old made on a shitty nine-year old program. This is possibly the rudest, crudest 3dmm to ever hit the internet. You've got your nudity, your unnecessary curse words, your sick fetish violence, and there's probably enough of it to piece together and make a 2-minute long porno/snuff flick. Now this is my kind of reel. The character of SATANIK is built up by his obviously twisted nature (Of course the fact that he wears a skeleton costume ALL THE TIME contributes to this factor). There isn't a single pro you can pin on him - He's sick from the bones. He rapes women. He rapes OLD women. He gets his 'lair' by kidnapping the landlord's wife/daughter, beating her, raping her and stringing her up. He's not some guy who's done a bad thing but has a good heart. He's pure, 100% non-pasturised EVIL. And he's not the kind of guy you'd like to bump into in a dark allyway. Hell, he's not really the kind of guy you'd like to bump into at all.
But then we've got the hero - SATANIK's alternate self, the heroic, justice-craving Inspector Mercier, who's only target in life is to see SATANIK behind bars - or better, six feet underneath. Mercier's life is totally different to that of SATANIK's. He lives alone, works hard for a living and has all the determination needed to make sure the world is a better place (SATANIK doesn't really have any determination, considering he just waltzes in and takes the goods).
With the two players in place, the Cat-and-Mouse tournament shall begin! Sequence after sequence, SATANIK gets closer to his prize of raiding the museum, while Mercier gets closer still to 'napping the criminal mastermind. The events that follow range from rapes, murder, eye-gouging, kidnapping, matricide and Indians to... uh... um... some other things.
Voice acting, now. And voice acting indeed. Jaymond did a splendid job as our favourite disturbed psycho-rapist (Along with Nina, Mercier's partner and love interest), and once again Barton claims another prime role as good guy Mercier. Snatch's role as Dana was possibly the most disappointing of the lot, but that's not really saying much.
One thing that SATANIK is surely famed for is the whole 'comic book' thing. If it weren't for the fact that it moved and made sounds, you could have sworn you were reading the damn thing. It has everything you can expect in a drama comic, even the 'as seen in issue...' thingy. If there was any movie that would win the award for best cinematography of 2004, SATANIK is it.

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 12/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 5/5
VOICES: 4/5
STORYLINE: 30/30
ANIMATION: 16/20
VA VA VOOM: 47/50

OVERALL: 114/135

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * * * * 10/10

"A landmark in 3dmm history. Andres, you da pimp."

JDR Revolutions :)

I did this before MC because this was waaaay easier to review.

JDR Revolutions
By Dominator Dan



To differ a bit from my usual reviews, I feel this is the movie that deserves a good 'likes' and 'dislikes' review. All through the movie I kept going "Ooh I like that." "Ah hell don't like that" etc. Here we go...

I liked how awesome the animation and super magic attacks and laser explosions and stuff looked.

I disliked the amount of dissolves in the middle of epic action sequences. I just HATE dissolves.

I liked the main bad d00d, Perfect Prime. He was badass.

I disliked the dialogue. Aaah, most of it was so cheesy and made even worse without voices. And some of it didn't really fit either (Who the hell says 'Piss of you lot' while attacking them with a minigun? Hijóle!).

I liked the music, with the Final Fantasy tracks and rock and stuff. Cool as.

I disliked some extreme lack of scenery (Albeit I can't really blame you for that, with the cool animation and all)

I liked all the deaths. Deaths are funny.

I disliked the amount of time it takes Patrick to open the vault door at the start. Aaah, we get the point! It's super secret!

I liked the humor, like Rory and Jeff over the horizon, and how Patrick was just grenaded in the showdown.

...so yeah. That's what I thought of JDR-Revo. All in all, it's got to be one to like, and if you don't then what the hell are you doing in the community? I can't wait for the next JDR (Well, that's a lie. I CAN wait. I don't really have much choice, eh?)!

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 11/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 4/5
VOICES: NO VOICES
STORYLINE: 30/30
ANIMATION: 15/20
VA VA VOOM: 35/50

OVERALL: 95/130

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * 1/2 7.5/10

"Entertaining and enjoyable. Dan's done good."

Yeah, I'm pretty good at all that huh :D

Ahh yes the final battle, I feared that it would run by too quick if you took out the fading, but hey, your right.

He's making an appearance in JDR Requiem

lol, that scene with the argument about telepathic powers, and the bit with the racing and the dog at the start, yeah that was fucking terrible. But lay a finger on Treacherous monstrousity and I'll smack your face in :)

Yerp, fortunately I've found many more sources for music, so there'll be much more variety in future films, but there'll still be some FF, although I think i've used up all the good ones :(

I was lazy, i admit the military base was extreme shit, It got better along the way..right?

WHO DOESN'T?

Hehe, yeah, all the weapons are stored in a safer place than a silly little cabinet ( like KRB LOL )

haha, I didn't feel like making a fight, and thought it'd be more funny, glad you liked it :)


* giggles *


overall: thanks for the review :D

Shit that doesn't sound good.

3DMM Evil Review, Please... I haven't seen enough of 'em.

Not necessarily, if you think about it in the scheme of the entire series.

Review Generations please...and by the way, you already reviewed Ice Cream Man in your other review thread.

I guess most people didn't see it that way eh Molotov :)

Nice Revolutions review Molotov, though I find a couple of decisions strange. 30/30 for a storyline entirely played out in a star wars spoof at the start of the film? I thought the story was the low point of the movie. Also, unless bad voice acting sends you into negative points, surely there should be some points for the voices - no voices at all means there are no bad ones ;).