'Attempt?' implying it fails or at least had something else to measure up to, yet you have contradicted yourself by giving the vocal score a respectable 4 out of 5.

It's a compliment.

Er it was meant in a good way. I think 'job' should've been a better word, but I was moreso referring to you doing the voices. I guess it's just bad wording, really.

SATANIK
By Andres De La Hoz



Says Andres (Evan?) in his SATANIK trailer: "Action, costumes, sex, niggers! Come on guys, what more do you want? It's going to be awesome!" Well, quite.

SATANIK is one of those films that as soon as you open it you know it's going to be an instant classic. Just by placing your cursor on the play button gives you the anticipation required to allow to watch this film as it should be watched - knowing that this film IS going to be awesome. It's that kind of skill that only a good lot of hype and directional reputation can pull of, and Andres De La Tarantino has made sure that I was NOT going to get bored of this film.
The entrance of the movie starts just where I like it: Right in the middle of the action. The opening's so stylish and entertaining that I stopped the movie and watched it again, just for the hell of it. Who wouldn't want to see a fight between four security guards and a black man who sounds like a white man who looks like a guy in a skeleton costume? The simply slick comic-book stylee, impossible Kung Fu kicks and plenty of witty retorts gives your brain a good whack with a rolled-up newspaper telling you to pay attention to the damn movie, you KNOW this shit's gonna be good.
Okay kids, settle down. This isn't some little kid flick a ten-year-old made on a shitty nine-year old program. This is possibly the rudest, crudest 3dmm to ever hit the internet. You've got your nudity, your unnecessary curse words, your sick fetish violence, and there's probably enough of it to piece together and make a 2-minute long porno/snuff flick. Now this is my kind of reel. The character of SATANIK is built up by his obviously twisted nature (Of course the fact that he wears a skeleton costume ALL THE TIME contributes to this factor). There isn't a single pro you can pin on him - He's sick from the bones. He rapes women. He rapes OLD women. He gets his 'lair' by kidnapping the landlord's wife/daughter, beating her, raping her and stringing her up. He's not some guy who's done a bad thing but has a good heart. He's pure, 100% non-pasturised EVIL. And he's not the kind of guy you'd like to bump into in a dark allyway. Hell, he's not really the kind of guy you'd like to bump into at all.
But then we've got the hero - SATANIK's alternate self, the heroic, justice-craving Inspector Mercier, who's only target in life is to see SATANIK behind bars - or better, six feet underneath. Mercier's life is totally different to that of SATANIK's. He lives alone, works hard for a living and has all the determination needed to make sure the world is a better place (SATANIK doesn't really have any determination, considering he just waltzes in and takes the goods).
With the two players in place, the Cat-and-Mouse tournament shall begin! Sequence after sequence, SATANIK gets closer to his prize of raiding the museum, while Mercier gets closer still to 'napping the criminal mastermind. The events that follow range from rapes, murder, eye-gouging, kidnapping, matricide and Indians to... uh... um... some other things.
Voice acting, now. And voice acting indeed. Jaymond did a splendid job as our favourite disturbed psycho-rapist (Along with Nina, Mercier's partner and love interest), and once again Barton claims another prime role as good guy Mercier. Snatch's role as Dana was possibly the most disappointing of the lot, but that's not really saying much.
One thing that SATANIK is surely famed for is the whole 'comic book' thing. If it weren't for the fact that it moved and made sounds, you could have sworn you were reading the damn thing. It has everything you can expect in a drama comic, even the 'as seen in issue...' thingy. If there was any movie that would win the award for best cinematography of 2004, SATANIK is it.

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 12/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 5/5
VOICES: 4/5
STORYLINE: 30/30
ANIMATION: 16/20
VA VA VOOM: 47/50

OVERALL: 114/135

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * * * * 10/10

"A landmark in 3dmm history. Andres, you da pimp."

JDR Revolutions :)

I did this before MC because this was waaaay easier to review.

JDR Revolutions
By Dominator Dan



To differ a bit from my usual reviews, I feel this is the movie that deserves a good 'likes' and 'dislikes' review. All through the movie I kept going "Ooh I like that." "Ah hell don't like that" etc. Here we go...

I liked how awesome the animation and super magic attacks and laser explosions and stuff looked.

I disliked the amount of dissolves in the middle of epic action sequences. I just HATE dissolves.

I liked the main bad d00d, Perfect Prime. He was badass.

I disliked the dialogue. Aaah, most of it was so cheesy and made even worse without voices. And some of it didn't really fit either (Who the hell says 'Piss of you lot' while attacking them with a minigun? Hijóle!).

I liked the music, with the Final Fantasy tracks and rock and stuff. Cool as.

I disliked some extreme lack of scenery (Albeit I can't really blame you for that, with the cool animation and all)

I liked all the deaths. Deaths are funny.

I disliked the amount of time it takes Patrick to open the vault door at the start. Aaah, we get the point! It's super secret!

I liked the humor, like Rory and Jeff over the horizon, and how Patrick was just grenaded in the showdown.

...so yeah. That's what I thought of JDR-Revo. All in all, it's got to be one to like, and if you don't then what the hell are you doing in the community? I can't wait for the next JDR (Well, that's a lie. I CAN wait. I don't really have much choice, eh?)!

TECHNICAL REVIEW:

GRAPHICS: 11/15
SOUND + MUSIC: 4/5
VOICES: NO VOICES
STORYLINE: 30/30
ANIMATION: 15/20
VA VA VOOM: 35/50

OVERALL: 95/130

PERSONAL SCORE: * * * * * * * 1/2 7.5/10

"Entertaining and enjoyable. Dan's done good."

Yeah, I'm pretty good at all that huh :D

Ahh yes the final battle, I feared that it would run by too quick if you took out the fading, but hey, your right.

He's making an appearance in JDR Requiem

lol, that scene with the argument about telepathic powers, and the bit with the racing and the dog at the start, yeah that was fucking terrible. But lay a finger on Treacherous monstrousity and I'll smack your face in :)

Yerp, fortunately I've found many more sources for music, so there'll be much more variety in future films, but there'll still be some FF, although I think i've used up all the good ones :(

I was lazy, i admit the military base was extreme shit, It got better along the way..right?

WHO DOESN'T?

Hehe, yeah, all the weapons are stored in a safer place than a silly little cabinet ( like KRB LOL )

haha, I didn't feel like making a fight, and thought it'd be more funny, glad you liked it :)


* giggles *


overall: thanks for the review :D

Shit that doesn't sound good.

3DMM Evil Review, Please... I haven't seen enough of 'em.

Not necessarily, if you think about it in the scheme of the entire series.

Review Generations please...and by the way, you already reviewed Ice Cream Man in your other review thread.

I guess most people didn't see it that way eh Molotov :)

Nice Revolutions review Molotov, though I find a couple of decisions strange. 30/30 for a storyline entirely played out in a star wars spoof at the start of the film? I thought the story was the low point of the movie. Also, unless bad voice acting sends you into negative points, surely there should be some points for the voices - no voices at all means there are no bad ones ;).