ITT we write a screenplay together [NSFW]
 

(take it away)

Blade walks over to the fridge, he grabs a beer and opens it with one of his nipples.






















You ain't shit


















some mother fuckas alwayz tryin' to ice-skate up hill

pff...i guess

Blade walks out of a hotel room and stops to catch the lift, he squeezes his penis once before riding the elevator down to the lobby.



* elevator door opens, Blade steps out *




"get a whiff of this, bitches. this is what a man smells like.





* Blade slowly walks through the lobby towards the exit *




excuse me sir, Mr. Blade, is it? it appears that your credit card is not valid, unfortunately we will have to-

"it appears your HEAD isn't valid."














"WHOA!!! You can't fuckin' do that in here!! nigga, is you crazy??!"

int: Blade walks into his Blade headquarters to find Whistler



Whistlaaa



Shut the fuck up kid. Look, i've been slayin' vamps since you were playin' with GI Joes and fartin' in the bathtub, now these vamps are HUNGRY, kid. Hungier'n a mean ol' bulldog haunched down in front of a country breakfast with biscuits n'gravy, eggies, bacon, grits, the works goddammit. You understand?



...



All that wacky bullshit that just came out m'mouth went and got me horny, you wanna jack eachother off call it somethin' else?

Suddenly there's a knock at the door of the Blade headquarter!



Mr. Snipes? Oh, I'm sorry, looking at this sheet now it seems you have changed your name to "Blade." Either way, according to my paperwork, it appears that you've been evading your federal income taxes. These three bills you sent to the IRS in the amounts of $1,000,000 on November 30, 2000, $12,000,000 on January 18, 2001, and $1,000,000 on September 10, 2002 turned out to be fradulent under 18 U.S.C. § 287 and 18 U.S.C. § 2. Because of this I will need to have you-

meanwhile...back inside blade headquarters



Whistler...listen bro...I may be half vampire...but I ain't half faggot.







* a single tear rolls down face *
I promise you this, Blade... this will be the last tear I ever shed for you.








so long... then. I guess.




yeah, later. I guess.

After the sex...




"Well shit, that wasn't too bad!"

Blade, I'm afraid you now have AIDS. From slam-dunking your dick.

* pew pew pew *






















"If I have AIDS, how come you're the one that's dying, doc?"

-

...

this thread had me howling with laughter

I would see this movie at least 3 times in theaters.

very nice!